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Swinggcat on Phone Game
Hey twentysix, I'm just going to comment on the phone call.
1. Instead of saying, "Is so and so there?" when she picks up the phone, say "Hi this is twenty six, I'm calling for so and so." You will sound more confident and sure of your self that way.
2. It was good that you didn't hesitate and told a story right away. Also it was good because I can now teach you alot form hearing it.
It sounds rushed. You ask her a question (really a command) to start it off, "Guess what just happened?" then, you never give her a chance to answer, you just go right into it. That looses a bit of rapport and tells her in a small way that your questions 'commands' are not to be taken seriously. I know that seems nitpicking but that it is a lesson to learn that can be applied on a bigger scale. And also all the little things in a conversation add up to form a picture of who you are. Get good at the little things and you will have much more control.
If you are going to ask a question then ask it and wait for an answer. Personally I would have been like, "Guess what just happened?" and let her try to answer. She would be like, "Um, I don't know." So I would say, "Of course you don't, anything can happen in this wacky life, aliens could have landed on my lawn or a band of little people could have carried my car away. But actually there is this dog..."
Okay, the story sounds a little canned, as if you had prepared before hand. That could just be to my ear but I can tell because you rushed through it and left little leaway for going in different directions as you told it. You were damn sure you were going to get through it one way or another.
The purpose of any story or 'material' should NOT be to entertain. It should be to ATTRACT. You attract by showing your humanity (your feelings and reactions to life). You had many opportunities to do that with in this story but missed them:
How did you feel about the dog?
You could have said, "my neighbor's dog was in front of his house. I love this dog. He is so affectionate and fun. I actually taught him a couple of tricks.." or however you felt.
How did you feel about the dog hitting his head?
Here you did express some reaction which is good. But think about what you are saying. I can see that you are not focused on how you are feeling with the story but simply looking to be entertaining. You are taking the dog's potential injuries very lightly and are more concerned about having to tell the owners about the dog then anything else.
You should have hammed it up here: "I was like, oh my gosh, you poor thing. I rushed over there thinking maybe I would have to give mouth to snout resuscitation, which I really didn't want to do but I would have to save the little guy. So I got over there and leaned over and checked for breathing." Then I would pause here and let her ask, "What? Was he okay?" Then tell her, "He suddenly sprung to his feet, almost giving me a heart attack. So you see I am lucky to even be able to make this phone call."
Also, over all slow down and try to shorten your stories. Cut out the facts and put in more of how you feel. When you can do that, you will be able to spin stories about the most simplest things into attraction.
3. Next you asked her 3 questions in a row real quick.
You: "So how are you doing anyway?"
You may be just nervous here. But avoid these rapid fire questions. You are not even listening to the answers.
Instead, ask a question:
You: "How are you today?"
Then respond to her answer.
You: "Good to hear that. I am doing fairly well myself. I mean, aside from the dog incident, of course. Oh, I was hanging with some comedy friends today. It was cool. I got the lead on some places where I can do comedy gigs."
Take your time and talk about yourself.
4. Your close: Why did you tell her you were pretty busy during the weekend? It is because you are trying to seem busy and 'in demand'. Right out of the manual. And in a small way it works. But it is shit. It is being tricky. It will hurt your game in the long run. Instead focus on the rapport. The things I mentioned earlier. Attract in a big way. If you do this right you will not need to be tricky. It will be easy. Both of you will KNOW that you are great together. And you will both know the other knows. It will be like, "Gosh, we are awesome. Kind of scary huh? When we see each other well have to be careful we don't light things on fire." and she will be like' "I know. I can't wait." That is the kind of close, phone or otherwise that you need.
But she did agree to see you. So you had a further chance to woo her. But in the future try to talk alot more about how you feel. Get into yourself and she will become alot more relaxed and able to get in to herself and you will begin to have amazing conversations and throw all the gimmicks and tricks aside.
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