One-itis Problem

I'm Flame and I have one-itis.

JUST KIDDING.

Anyway, your friendly neighborhood Flame is here to talk about one-itis, because it seems to cropping up within these boards these days. A number of posters have talked about their IP/one-itis still maintaining control over their lives, or the fact that they get one-itis easily, blah blah blah.

Okay, so what is one-itis?

ASF definition: A disorder commonly found in AFCs, that forces them to think that one chick is so special that they'll do ANYTHING to get into her panties. The most common cure for this disease is to go out and fuck a Baker's Dozen of other chicks to see that one piece isn't that special.

Well, that's pretty much what one-itis is. But why does it happen?

My personal theory is that one-itis most commonly develops in guys for whom quality women are a relative scarcity. By quality, I mean high level of beauty, charm, grace, beauty, intelligence, elegance, beauty, blah blah blah, you get the point. Hot women you wanna fuck, k?

In HS, I wasn't very social outside my own circle of friends and had almost no "game" whatsoever. Usually, guys who are like this live happily anyway, because there are things to do besides look for chicks. However, that also means that you aren't exposed to a high number of quality women... SO, that one certain female friend/neighbor/co-worker starts looking super attractive, EVEN IF SHE'S NOTHING TRULY EXTRAORDINARY IN THE REAL SCHEME OF THINGS.

This is the main cause of one-itis and in order to make yourself immune to it, you have to embrace this realization. Yes, that "special girl" is special and unique in her own way and it would be great if you were that one guy who could truly appreciate her. This is what I believe true love is similar to.

The thing is most guys aren't really experiencing "true love" when they catch one-itis. What they're feeling is a certain STRONG and UNHEALTHY attachment to ONE female, not because they truly understand and appreciate and LOVE the female... but because of THEIR OWN INSECURITIES added to the relative SCARCITY of quality women in THEIR OWN lives.

Notice what I'm stressing here: one-itis IS NOT the work of the GIRL, by being extraordinarily special or crazy beautiful or whatever - it's a result of the GUY'S personal insecurities, lack of confidence in finding another/better woman (due to scarcity + lack of social skills/game), and a void within themselves that desires affection. It's the GUY'S fault, NOT the girl's.

Oftentimes, these guys who profess love for their one-itis don't even really KNOW her. Not well enough to truly love her, anyway. You know why? Because if they TRULY understood her, they'd know her well enough to get her - the right way. And if a guy truly does get to know and understand a woman, there is NO WAY he will get one-itis... because if he can see the truth about her, he will also see that she is human, just like himself - a person worthy of love and affection perhaps, but not of the blind, numbingly-retarded devotion that one-itis entails.

So... a solution for one-itis? Well, for one thing, it is NOT asking "Well, how do I get this X girl?" Because to be honest, none of us here (not even the veterans of IW.com) can tell you EXACTLY what you need to bag that ONE SPECIAL GIRL. We don't know her, we've never met her, we can't give you step-by-step directions to nail her.

If you are looking to solve your one-itis by trying to figure out a step-by-step, personally-tailored gameplan to bag that one special girl, you are approaching this the wrong way. Why? Because, like I said, the root of one-itis is NOT the girl, but each man's personal demons. Finding a gameplan or the "perfect line" or the most magical gift to win her over is not really addressing the essential problem areas that need to be fixed - YOUR INNER SELF!

What is truly required to avoid one-itis for good is a change. Several changes actually, focused around your outlook on life followed by hard applications to your actual lifestyle: