How to Construct PU Routines

She'll say, "What facial expressions?" And you don't care.

"So this guy said I'd look awesome with these glasses on. Not THESE glasses - another pair. So he just hands them to me. (hand a CB your glasses) So I try them on." [physical act out]

"But then he puts his arm on me like this [act out if you want], and I move away, and then he comes closer, and I'm like aaaa, and I have to all but RUN out of the club to get away from him!" [drama]

"About five minutes later I realize I'M STILL HOLDING HIS GLASSES."

Etc. Not bad. Let's do another!

Topic? Let's go WAY boring. Note - boring topics translate into low energy routines. They're useless in a club, and many other areas. But they'll be fine elsewhere.

The office copier.

Social dynamics?

People interact with the copier, and then with each other. But it goes badly.
(it's like writing a bad sitcom premise) It should involve children, since the image of a child with an arm stuck inside a copier makes me smile.

Hook - "You know how copying machines have that panel you need to open if things get stuck?"

Isn't that the start of the most boring story ever? Yet watch:

Well, I need your opinion. My boss took his daughter to work. [social dynamics] You kind of look like my boss - it's not good. [neg] In any case, his daughter, Tabitha, tried to copy something for show and tell - but the copier jammed. Who cares. Well, my boss wasn't watching - he and his secretary were out... you know. [physical act out - imply with the eyes]

So Tabby's like 8 - she needed a stool just to reach the top of the copier! So she reads what it says about the jam, and she opens the copier! First, she pulls the blue toner out and gets it all over her face. And THEN when she puts the blue toner back IN, and GETS HER HAND STUCK in the copier.

So here she is, little blue toner face girl, like tiny little Braveheart, with her hand stuck in the copier, freaking out [drama], but she's shy and doesn't want to call for help. And RIGHT then, another girl FROM HER CLASS, walks out of an office nearby. Her mom works there! And this girl sees chubby little Tabitha, face covered in blue toner, with her hand stuck in the copier, and starts LAUGHING at her. And LAUGHING. Which made Tabitha start CRYING and CRYING. BLUE tears. Of unimaginable sadness."

This story is fairly useless as a routine (it's filler), but I hope it shows that you can build a fairly interesting story out of just a few simple rules and ANY topic you want.

For kicks, here's the same story without ANY of the rules:
"You know how, like, copying machines have that panel you have to open if things get stuck? I had to open that panel a few days ago, and I was afraid my hand would get stuck in there. It didn't, though! So I can still masturbate, thankfully."

7. REAL STORIES VS FAKE ONES

If you can tell any old made up story without feeling weird, then go ahead and lie like a rug. Unless your life is fascinating, it's the easiest route, and so long as you stop before you get to rapport, you're fine.

But if you feel weird being dishonest (fucking hippie), then don't lie about everything. Only tell stories about familiar people or objects... BUT - they don't have to be true! Make up a backstory! See, if you can envision a familiar person or object really clearly, then you can almost CERTAINLY imagine a story around that person or object. That usually makes you feel so much less weird about the story. It makes you congruent.

Also - these hot girls, with their naughty bodies, when they act all bitchy for no good reason? That's just THEIR FANTASY about being important. It is NO MORE REAL than your routine about your retarded gay uncle. See, since girls are bad at THINKING and PLANNING, then instead of making a ROUTINE that's a bunch of bullshit, they've adopted an entire EMOTIONAL PERSONA that's bullshit. A facade. And it is a LIE.