Sashko: Don't think about being "shy." Just don't think. The more you think of what to say, the more you will be behind and not know what to say, and you will be lost in the conversation cuz you weren't listening. Just react to what other people talk about. Make the responses seem natural. Share your opinions. Better yet, talk about your own experiences.
But first of all:
(1). Meet strangers - get over the fear of saying "hi." Don't talk to the same people all the time - this defeats the purpose.
(2). Talk about anything with the people you meet. Weather. School. Work. Whatever.
(3). Try and don't give up. Observe other people around you and notice how they act socially. Mimmic.
(4). Think of some fun stories/things to tell and practice telling them to individual people until you perfect them. Then, think of some more material to share. With time, make the stories you tell funny and entertaining.
(5). Don't give up if you fail/stall. Keep trying every day.
(6). Try to tell the stories from #4 to a group of people, meaning more than 1 person.
(7). RTFM and try to incorporate the things you learned into your interactions with girls.
(8). Come back and share your results with us.
Specialist: Do Svengali's newbie mission.
If you cannot smile and say "Hi", there is absolutely nothing that ANYONE can do to help you do anything else.
There are literally hundreds, if not thousands of books available on "How to Start and Continue a Conversation". Pick up a copy of Leil Lowndes's book "How to Talk to Anybody About Anything".
Talk with her. LISTEN TO WHAT SHE SAYS. Feed it back, let her expand on it.
CTrigger: I'm employing the tactics and really learning what to do and what not to do with women, and I can get women to talk to me and enjoy my presence. I have yet to meet a girl I want to really get with, but that's another matter. And yeah, I was shy. I think I still am, in many ways, but I can talk when I want to.
I read your post, and saw something I would have written a few months ago. Like you, I was basically shy around people in general. Not just pretty women, not just women, but ugly women, guys, even people who work in stores, I wouldn't want to talk to them for help, because I felt I would be "bothering" them. How fucked up is THAT?
For me, it basically came down to self-esteem; essentially, I had none. But not only that, I let it show. People knew that I didn't respect myself and that not only kept me from talking to others, but others wouldn't talk to me. So it fueled my failing self-esteem by making me think that people didn't want to talk to me!
Anyhow, what I noticed is that there were a few places where people really enjoyed my company--in a classroom, and at work. These were places where I was very comfortable, and sure that I was worthy of attention and praise. I'm a good student, and a good worker. So people respected me at work and at school.
So, then, why can't people respect me anyplace else? I started to compose myself with a greater sense of confidence. Oftentimes, I felt like I was "faking" it, but it worked. Once people started talking to me, it in turn lead me to believe that people did like talking to me, which subconsciously raises my self-esteem. Now I'm not really "faking" it when I exude confidence, because I really am confident about myself.
If you're an all-around good guy, not temperamental, don't pick your nose or fart in public, then most people will generally like you. Know this and realize that you've nothing to worry about by opening up to people. You will be vulnerable, yes, to criticism and people's opinion, but you also open yourself up to socialization, friendship, and ultimately, after you mix in your ASF knowledge, women.
Again, I'm definitely not "the life of the party," but I'm way better than I was before, and thanks to sites like fastseduction and this newsgroup, I feel much better about myself. And I'm sure you will too.
Richard Morrell: I've suffered crippling shyness for most of my life. I once went to our office Christmas party last year and sat at the table for 3 hours without saying a word, so you're not alone. I'm 32. However since discovering ASF I am beginning to understand chick logic and have started talking to everyone around me. I have also come to realize that all the feminazi shit fed to us from birth (buy flowers, act like a gentleman,supplicate) is what causes a lot of rejection. Its a shame it's taken so long to learn this. After a lifelong experience of rejection women are beginning to notice me! Freaky but true.Here is what I suggest.
1. Read 'Introducing NLP' by John Seymour and Joseph O Connor. This will explain a *lot* about perception and belief and how to overcome this.
2. If you find the book applicable consider attending an NLP course. NLP has the capability to destroy lifelong phobias in one session. Check NLP trainer credentials.
3. Find possible self-help courses in your area.
4. Try speaking to more people on the phone as a starting point.You will get an intuitive feel for what people are saying(i.e you will pay more attention to their tone and pace which helps with face to face conversations.) For practice ring up bookshops and ask for any old query. Ask a few open ended questions. i.e What do you recommend, what is selling, etc)
5. Try www.shyness.com which contains lots of resources for shyness.
6. STOP FOCUSING ON YOURSELF AND FOCUS ON OTHERS. Sorry I had to shout that. This IMHO is what causes shyness the most. You spend all your time listening to your inner voice that tells you the following bullshit:
(1). Dont speak until you have the perfect quip.
(2). If I say something how will everyone react? (Mentally picture how everyone will react)
(3). What do I do if everyone looks at me expecting me to lead the conversation?
