Well, I don't have a sister. And so one day I decided to ask every girl I saw where she got her most unique article of clothing or apparel, since my sister's birthday is coming up and she'd really love something like that. "But that's a lie - I can't do that." Why not? You learn a lot about female shopping habits that way. (why you need to know about female shopping habits I have no idea - don't overthink this) And on one day, I must have asked twenty girls about their stuff (in 2 malls). And as I was eating dinner in the food court, it suddenly hit me that I was really sick of asking them about their goddamn purses and that from now on, I'd just ask them what they're looking for. Or how long they've been in the mall. Or (my new fave) the "who's a better liar - men or women?" thing. (men are winning, btw) And the next day, I tried that and went right back to asking about purses, since my balls had shrunk overnight. But eventually the routine got so fucking monotonous that I started just asking them anything else, just to avoid talking about purses and cute tops and faded jeans.
The point is that I don't have to ask them about these things. But I've fooled myself into thinking that if I don't say something else, I have to ask them about their cute pair of boring normal shorts which are the same shorts that every other woman in sight is wearing. Force yourself into using a default question, and pretty soon you'll be so sick of it that you'll start having actual conversations*. Having a pre-planned set of questions is golden, but you build that set up one question at a time, and only through actually asking those questions. Don't write down 20 you could use. Write down one, and use it. If you get sick of it, write down another. And repeat for the rest of your life. Eventually remember to mirror, EV, and kino her till she looks like a stoner that just found a big bag of chips, and it's you.
Dreem: There is no first hurdle, ASF material will help you beat shyness. You're making a mistake thinking you have deal with the shyness first as a separate issue. Look at it this way, forget you're a shy person for a moment and set yourself a goal to work towards becoming successful with women. So from this frame of mind you then ask yourself the question: "What do I need to do to become successful with women?" The steps are laid out in ASF:
(1). Start with Svengali's Newbie mission, i.e say "Hi" to chicks and just walk away.
(2). When you get used to saying 'Hi'. Do Manny the Martian exercise.
(3). Pick an opener from the layguide or SS newsletters and go on Crash & Burn missions. Learn how to eject, "Have a nice day" is a good way, regardless of the HBs response. Knowing you can eject easily improves you willingness to approach in the first place. Think 'Practice' don't think 'PU'.
*** at this stage you should be able to mask your shyness ****
(4). Create a more detailed conversational structure for fluff talk and rehearse it at home.
For example:
Opener - something about her
Where is she coming from/going?
What does she do? - Work/College
What does she like doing when not working - Hobbies
Travel - where has she been to?
Make it more detailed, use your imagination to add things you like talking about. Just be aware that you'll be in TOTAL control of conversations so you can structure your framework exactly the way you want it. If she introduces any topics during conversation then that is a bonus. Go out and start conversations and take it as far as you can go. Again think 'Practice' don't think 'PU'. Be rest assured that you've got your "have a nice day" eject method if things are not going well, so that should be comforting.
*** at this stage your shyness should be disappearing fast ****
(5). Read the material in the Layguide and pickupguide.com in more detail and create more conversational frameworks that eliminate fluff talk. Practice Closing.
(6). Buy material. Look at the reviews at fastseduction.com and decide what you want to buy. Don't bother about reading any NLP books for now, if you're really interested in NLP/SS and you want to learn how to create patterns or use weasel phrases then get the BHSC from RJ.
(7). Practice... Practice... Practice
Random: Walk before you can run. Trying to seduce girls before you can keep up a decent conversation seems like a waste of time to me. Concentrate on improving your self esteem, and general social skills before you start with the seduction.
I used to be exactly the same as you. Hell, my only regret in life is not sitting next to some girl I liked once. How fucking hard can that be?, lol.
Well, for me, I just realised one day that I was shy, and that it sucked. Ever since I was 15 or so, I've been trying to sort out myself, one of my first things I did was to get over my fear of heights.
I started rockclimbing. Yeh, to begin with, it scared the shit out of me. It still does sometimes. But you know what? I ain't fucking scared of no heights no more.
This technique is recognised by shrinks, and they have a fancy name for it. Basically, you just immerse yourself in whatever your scared of, until you realise your phobia is just stupid and pointless.
What I did was just start saying "Hi" to everybody I met, and speaking more in conversations. If you have an opinion, just spit it out, don't care what everyone else will think of you. Need material to talk about? Stories! Or try to find common things that you and your conversational partner(s) have in common. For example, at the moment I'm into piercings, so if someone has a piercing, we can talk about it for between 5 mins and 5 hours depends on how much the other person is into it.
It is our PLEASURE to read your posts, you don't need to THANK us. Get some more self esteem. Every word you speak is a motherfucking ray of sunshine, we should be greatful for you to posting!
