Fear Of Approaching

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thrillseeker wrote

Approach anxiety. This topic has been beaten to death, by me among others.

You just have to do it bro. There is no other way. It's a long road you have ahead of you, so start walking.

I suggest you don't focus on technique, cause that will trip you up and compound your problem by making you think you have to say the right thing. Just forget about it at least until you become more comfortable being social. Just be normal, outgoing and friendly. Focus on making the initial effort. Be chill, or fake it. Forget about what happens next. I know, this seems impossible, but you have to find some way to get through that and then you will see that it is embarassingly easy.

Girls are my anti-drug.

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Regal  wrote

Next time you see a girl you'd like to talk to, tell yourself this:

"I'm scared, but I'm going over there anyway," and just start walking towards her.

That's how I finally put myself on the road to recovery last January. I didn't know what I'd do when I reached her, I just knew that before I could even worry about doing anything else, I had to get that part of it down.

Regal

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Bruno  wrote

Hey, dude. If any of this advices just given to you dont help. Get a new job! Something where you HAVE to socialaize! Like sales for i.e. It will get you in great mood and state and then you just dont need to think about approaching, it will come all alone. Trust your intuition.

And if you are not willing to take a huge warp like this then start by talking to stranger guys instead. Talk to guys first and THEN go to talk to some chicks (just dont talk to em like you talk to guys, its all up here).

Have a new hobby, it will help, you get lots of friends by that. And those guys..who knows ? might even have lots of girlfriends ?

Meet ppl from the community as well. You can then see them work and learn and see that girls wont (usually) bite (much).

Me for i.e can be very unsocial at the times and want to be alone sometimes, but most of the time i like and love to talk to ppl, its all in your head man.

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flashback  wrote

LISTEN UP

this is an internal thing you need to get over in YOUR mind. Give your inner-child a serious bitch-slap and man the fuck up. If you can't get past it then you must have some serious self-esteem issues or something. Understand that you can approach 20 women in a day, get shot down by all of them, and it DOESNT MATTER. They don't care, and they wont remember you. You could try again with them in another week and they wouldn't remember you.

Stop being outcome dependent. Don't put too much into the interaction. If you hit it off with someone, great. If not, NO BIG DEAL. At least you tried, and if you're savvy enough you can tell if she's worth the time and reject HER if she's not what you were looking for.

IMO the ironic thing about approach anxiety is that its probably the EASIEST part of the entire interaction. If you could get comfortable doing it you would realize that you now have a million other things to contend with, the approach is just the beginning and its EASY AS FUCK.

Now get out there and FORCE yourself to do it. You are not going to die. I assure you you'll be quite alright. People are not going to hate you. Just be friendly, comfortable, fun. Doing it is the only way to get over it, and if you just tried you'll see how fucking easy it is.

Now GO.

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