Looks Matter?

Also, using pAImAI in your game is something to be worked on specifically. It is a skill unto itself and as such it's not worth your time working on until you can approach successfully on a regular basis, get closes and fuck some women.

To summarize:

Yes the idea of "looks don't matter" is a bit of an overstatement, but it's said so unilaterally for a reason: new guys need to get the idea that their looks matter so much out of their head. They need to focus on their game and not worry about whether they look like Brad Pitt or not.

The rest of the advice is poor and misleading.

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unrelated1400  wrote

your self esteem is never going to be completely innate,; as human beings, we all need outside validation.
As kids, we seek the approval and attention of our parents, and as adults we seek approval of others. In fact it has been shown in studies that people who do not get their parents attention as kids, develop to be socially isolated. The same applies to adult girl or guys who do not get social attention, they either get extremely depressed, frustrated, angry, suicidal etc.

The reason more better looking people have better game is because they have received much more attention by society and thus better socially adapted.

There is only so much you can do to improve your self confidence.

For example: you can think you have the prettiest eyes in the world. Without outside validation, you will start to doubt yourself, if not now, at some point in your life, and this leads to insecurity, self doubt and social disaster.

Confidence cannot be faked. Yes you can do lots of think to improve confidence, such as talk to many people and increase your social network etc etc. Yet you still need some sort of outside approval. It is irrational to say that you should never care what people say about you.

If you are so confident game is more important than looks, try and experiment where you go out with a big belly and fake zits on your face, and pull the same game as you usually would. I bet after a month, you won't have the same self confidence as you had before.

We must understand that we live in a society, and society sets the general norms and rules of society. You cannot just disregard what other people say, no matter how confident you are. If you completely disregard what people think about you, you have crossed the line to insanity.

I agree that seeking approval can be blow out of proportion, but everyone needs a little outside approval and thats plain fact. If you don't have outside approval, you can distort reality and become completely lost. because what is in your head does not match with what people see. Reality in your head becomes something else and thats when you become insane!

I don't know maybe I'm wrong.

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sethtrump wrote

You are wrong

Confidence can get to a place where it's not based on external validation at all. See people who have got very shitty things going on in their lives yet still have an unwavering confidence in themselves and their abilities. Look at a guy with a business where everyone says that he is crazy, no one will invest in him and everyone from experts to laymen to friends and family tell him that he is wrong and is going to fail. How does that guy persevere into getting his company off the ground and making it successful? With confidence in himself, his abilities and his vision.

How do you improve your confidence? Success. You could argue that's based on external factors for sure, but to me it's giving yourself proof that you can do it. The more proof you have the more you will believe in yourself.

I don't need to prove to myself or anyone that game is more important than looks. I said flat out that having good looks is going to make gaming easier for you. What I am saying is that a less attractive guy who has great game is not going to have any issues picking up women. That guy is also going to be able to outpull some guy who relies on his looks to get women and doesn't have much game. You will find that very attractive guys don't have much game. Those guys tend to be confident and willing to approach girls, but rely on their looks to attract them and have not much else game beyond that. There are some that dont fit that generalization, but in my experience attractive guys don't have a lot of game.