What is wrong with me? 200 approaches no date?

This stuff does not happen overnight.

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parkblvd wrote
Dude, you have two problems.

One is that you're depressed/frustrated. You're in a negative headspace. Right now, from what you've written, I wouldn't want to talk to you, since all you'd do is whine. With that headspace, you cannot progress.

Also, if you really have lair guys around you, they aren't helping you for only a few reasons. Either they're total dicks (unlikely), or you have absolutely nothing positive to say, so they're avoiding you. You have to be positive.

Literally, go out and do fun things until you no longer care about the outcome of your PU. That will put you in the right headspace. It seems like you've made this out to be some INCREDIBLY big thing in your life, when in fact, it's just one more thing.

Your second problem is that you lack structure. That's why I hate most of the direct/be yourself guys. They don't get it, w.r.t. structure. (A few of them do, and those guys are brilliant.) Your structure should basically model Mystery's 9 steps. This does NOT!!!!! mean go out and take a MM course. It means find his 9 steps on this site (they're here somewhere) and figure it out. The very basic structure, just for you (you're likely doing direct game) is open
qualify/neg her
cool conversation (can be funny story, can be just improv)
qualify her again
more cool convo
qualify her a final time
relocate her
comfort routines (like the cube, the questions game, etc)

If all of your wings are "being themselves" and getting laid and you're not, it's because you're negative, or because they've accidentally stumbled into a vague structure that works, but don't "believe" lol in structure and thus don't understand what they're doing.

Also, formhandle had great advice. You're in burnout/emotional mode, which is useless for PU. Fix your emotional state, and then post here.

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Evolver wrote
Like others have said, I think you are trying to get too much results, too soon.

I have been sarging for a little over 2 months and have probably only done around 100-150 approaches. From that, I have had one day2 and one KC (almost Lay) and a bunch of flakey numbers. Not impressive results, but the key thing that keeps me going is that I see myself improving ever so slightly on each interaction (although sometimes they seem to be going backward).

By not steamrolling dozens of approaches into a small amount of time, I am giving myself the chance to reflect and learn about my mistakes. I guess it is kind of like cramming for an exam, you can maybe recall enough information to pass the exam, but a few days afterwards you have probably forgotten half of that shit.

I have met you once, and in all honesty, I did find it a little hard to relate/vibe with you. I remember that you kind of got annoyed with small issues that you shouldn't be worrying about such as too big of a crowd, or paying a cover charge. It is fine to be a little pissed when these unexpected events happen, but you must immediately accept them and move on...where as I could see that you were letting them bring you down. (FYI I acutally lent you the money for that cover charge and you made no effort to pay me back...I could care less about the money, but it is bad social form to borrow money from someone you just met and then forget about it).

To summarise, I think you need to improve your social skills in all areas of your life, do not concentrate soley on women. Talk more with your family, friends, co-workers and genuinely listen and take interest in what they have to say. It is not all about you. Continue to sarge, but do not be focused on stats, but rather noticing the little things that you did better in this approach/interaction.

Hope this helps,

Evolver.

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jettiger wrote
On 11/19/05 4:34:00 AM, newlearner05 wrote:
>I dont know what is wrong with
>me. The reason i have been
>down on myself, and getting