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David's Film Premiere Party

author:        "David"
date:          Sat, 12 Sep 1998 04:00:00 GMT
subject:      David's FILM PREMIERE PARTY

Another Very long Field Report by David about how to pickup hot  Babe-Angelina Jolie

Alright gentlemen,

At 9pm I readied and went to meet my friend Tal and his buddy Action Fighter downtown. We ate at a cool food joint and discussed the chance of my meeting the famous Angelina Jolie from Hackers. We discussed and planned. It was my party invite and I invited my friends so I had dibs on angelina. We agreed on that. they said that since I was the guy who worked his ass off to get good, it was only fitting that I landed her in order complete my training as Action Lover. Se we get to the place for 11:20pm. Action Fighter couldn't get in 'cause the ticket was for only 2 so I asked the guy if I could go up and find the film-makers to get my friend in and they let me in (I think it was my confident and PLEASANT demeaner.) We go in and I meet a couple of people I knew. We walked around and the place slowly picked up over time. A photographer I knew through a biz acquaintance was there and he took some pics of me. Me, Action fighter and Tal just waited around and nothing happened for the first hour. We just looked busy and chatted and hung which was tough to do. We saw Rosanna Arquette there but I didn't intro myself to her. We were waiting for Jolie to come. I thought, when she comes, I have to be all set up to meet her. I figured, first, she must be intro'd to me, and second, I must have women around me to appear as positive testimonial to my coolness. So I intro'd myself to 2 women who were not my type at all just to get something going around me. This is known as BASING. This is where you start a BASE of women around yourself to DRESS yourself in female-atude. One of them liked Tal too so he enjoyed the yak. Better than hanging alone waiting for the cream of the crop to still arrive. Well, Jolie wasn't coming so I dumped the 2 girl BASE and walked around. Jolie NEVER arrived which sucks because I asked the photographer to get Jolie to come and meet me. that would have been cool because she would have felt like 'I' was important enough for her to want to meet ME. He would say to her that he wanted to take a picture of the two of us and I would be surrounded by several people and the HYPE would be around ME. If only she were THERE. Mind you, Im not pissed or anything. It was a longshot worth trying for. She could have had a boyfriend or been married but at least I went there.

Ok, so I end up meeting a couple cool black dudes and we shoot the shit for a bit. They were sorta a second BASE. Tal, Action Fighter (AF) and I go get a drink at the complementary bar. We only ordered coke because drinking lames out the brain for the sharpness required for the game. None of us drink. The 'drink to loosen up' excuse is invalid from a scientific standpoint. Playing the game is INCLUDES over-riding your emotions. See, beautiful women by there presence will create a STATE-CHANGE in you. They don't have to talk, they just have to BE THERE. You will get nervous and horny and weird. This feeling will make you behave like EVERY other guy. This state-change is an indicator that the woman is WORTHY of your attentions. However, you cant let this STRONG EMOTION alter your approach. This is an internal issue that happens on TOP of the external issue of attracting her. Its a BITCH of an emotion too though because it makes you WANT her so bad that you will be NICE to her. What the NICE GUYS don't realize is that only men who are around women alot don't have this state-change and therefore do not behave like horny-toads. So you must act like you don't FEEL this inside and suppress the feeling. Good news is, when you ARE around women alot, the feeling gets weaker. You can control this STATE-CHANGE as you can nervousness before public speaking and such. You just ignore the feeling. Only YOU know you have this internal issue. Hiding it is the big thing. When you are drunk, it removes this feeling, but it ALSO removes your sharpness and focus.

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Terrific! Bun snapped
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Mrs. Muldoon walked to the door and looked out. "Good heavens!
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Further research may someday solve the riddle of this strange phenomenon.
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The only question was whether to remove it from the boat first.
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He said later he purposely selected a young tree, because large rocks have trouble climbing the slender trunk
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Bun just flipped out
What are you getting so upset about? I said to Bun
the distance, eventually expanding into a dove, which I would scare the
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"Let me tell you something about the relationship between a man, his wife, and his boats
First of all, the proper understanding of boats is essential to marital bliss
Otherwise, the reference to boats would not be included in marriage vows, as in 'Do you promise to love, honor, and obey your husband and not speak ill of his boats
"" ""Gee, boats weren't referred to in our marriage vows,"" Harold said"
He stood there looking embarrassed and apologetic
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Oh, I nearly forgot, I said. "Eddie got hurt."
Then they enter into matrimony, holy or otherwise, with their heads crammed full of nonsense
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The next day I rode over to Eddie's house to see if he could play. He
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"This Megan is a real beauty
She's a twenty-footer, tied up to the pier at Doc's Boat Works, if you want to take a look at her
But tell me something
How come Bun got so upset when she thought we were talking about boats? I was surprised that Harold knew so little about the facts of marital life"
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I have often observed the phenomenon in which hunters who make a shot of 150 feet
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I once so misjudged the distance across a lake that it nearly cost me my life.
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Eddie leaned back on his pillows and smiled with satisfaction. "That
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so often they would squint off down the Snake River Canyon and shout at
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There's no deer up there, one of them growls.
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Bill hasn't mentioned a keen observation since.
Most of my own research into vision has been directed at determining
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Otherwise, youngsters are simply going to pick up on the streets and playgrounds a lot of misinformation about boats
Yeah, I say. "But I see now they're at least a day old."
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After a while, Walt and Skip walked over and got out their lunches
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would be nothing there. After a few seconds, a speck would appear in
One must remember to remain cool and detached in such cases and avoid blurting out things like "Really?"
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Yeah, I said. "The best I ever seen."
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My friends stare at the hillside so hard beads of sweat form on their eyeballs.
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I've been seeing chironomid spoor in the water, but it appeared to be several days old."
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Here was a hip young man, twenty-four years old, married almost three months, baby on the way, and no one apparently had ever sat him down and had a man-to-man talk with him about boats and marriage
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dickens out of as it whistled past. Then Skip would yell, "Comin'
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The monster was about the size of our tent, and after throwing rocks at it for several minutes,
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swirling water by our boat and smugly reported, "I see the chironomids are hatching."

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You see what I mean?" "No
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Embarrassed, I turned to my companions, now also frost-covered, and signaled for them to sneak around to the far side of the mountain,
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Well just as Harold was saying, Pat, this Megan has the sweetest little curves you ever saw," my wife, Bun, walked in
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I realized immediately that with any more encouragement, the man could become a keen-observation fanatic.
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out of the pickup, opened a can of soda, and settled myself comfortably
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One of my scariest illusions occurred on a camping trip when I was a kid.
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After all, I could see lichen growing on the far shore.
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watch me peel 'em off. Okay?"
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I let him suffer for a few seconds, and then stepped in and saved him
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You didn't cry, I said. "A lot of guys would have cried, but you
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They weren't? I said
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Distance often plays a part in the creation of illusions.
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just in case the dead trees should catch our scent and make a break for it.
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"Oh dear, that boy! He is always getting himself so banged up. What
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was a terrific crash, wasn't it?"
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I saw a piece of chironomid shell float past."
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The tracks, I say. "Don't you see those three sets of tracks?"
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So where were we? I said to Harold, who still seemed a bit shaken up
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Then there is the problem of dealing with illusions. Obviously, the first thing any hunter must learn is not to shoot at his illusions,
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We were all immensely relieved, and later agreed it would be best if we didn't mention to anyone
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I pocketed his sugar cookies and left. He probably wouldn't feel much
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Yeah, but she doesn't honor and obey me either
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Smiling with satisfaction, Bill took out a cigar and lit it.
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is it this time? His big toe? Another finger?"
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I expertly finished off a second sugar cookie. "I don't know for
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On the same river, a large gray rock with a bush growing out of it chased a friend of mine across the river and up a tree
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One of his ankles was as big as a grapefruit--a spoiled grapefruit.
It was a big lake! I was soon simultaneously performing CPR on the motor and contemplating how best to implant a five-horse outboard in a resort owner.
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"We're just talking about women
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later judge the distance to be not less than 300 yards.
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Yeah, sure, I said. "Well, I gotta go. See ya later, Eddie."
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A chironomid would have had to be the size of a volleyball for anybody to have seen it in that water.
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