When do I call

6 ) If she doesn't pick up the first time, DON'T leave a message.

In this day and age, I'm assuming you're calling her cell phone, in which case you'll show up as a missed call. That's all the info she needs. If she's remotely into you and sees you called, she'll be happy to call you back on her own. Notice I say "remotely" into you - her calling you back to return a missed call is NOT an IOI and should not be taken as one, or maybe taken as a 0.25 point IOI ("Indicator Of Interest," c.r. Mystery Method/mASF).

7 ) On the second or third call attempt that she doesn't pick up, you can leave a message.

Make the message short and sweet, following rules #3, #4, and #5, just without her end of the conversation. Ask her to call you back, whatever you gotta do. Be sure to sound like you're not gonna be let down if she doesn't call you (again don't TELL her directly you won't be let down, just act it).

8 ) You probably don't wanna call more than 3 times without leaving a message.

I like to leave it on the 2nd attempt, but if you haven't already, leave it on the 3rd attempt. Also, space these attempts out, preferably one a day, or two a day at least a few hours apart. You don't want to be nagging and clingy.

9 ) If you've left a message, take a LONG break before calling again.

Once you've left the message, you don't wanna be like Mikey in Swingers and leaving a batch of voice mails for her. If you're gonna leave a message, assume she'll get it - especially if you were following rules #6, #7, and #8 beforehand, the score ought to be 1 or 2 missed calls AND a message. She'll get one or all of those, you can be sure. With all that info, you shouldn't be needing to call again or leave another message, then you'd just look clingy and needy. You can try one more follow-up call later, but I'd wait at least 4 or 5 days if not a whole week.

If she returns your call really late, you may want to play like you forgot all about her or are already moving on, and without saying so directly, give the impression that you don't like to waste your time trying to catch a girl who's being flakey with you. (BillyDee is gonna be more elegant on this point than I am) But anyway, with this "waiting after the message" rule, this is why rule #6 is in effect in the first place: You don't want to spend your only voice mail for the week so early. That's why you hang up and leave a missed call or two first, 'cuz you're only getting one chance this week to either call her and have a conversation, or leave that voice mail. But if she doesn't pick up, it's no harm done, a missed call is like a foul ball: Gives a strike, but can't strike you out, unless you get a whole lot of them...

10 ) After the delayed follow-up call after the long wait, that's your last call - Game Over.

From the moment you leave the 2nd voice mail after the long wait from rule #9 (if it's even come this far, hopefully it hasn't; rule #10 is assuming she still isn't calling back after the week), the game is officially over on your end. If you have to leave the follow-up message in the first place, consider her over and out of your book already, and do not expect a call back. You have already NEXTed her by default due to her late reply, her time expired.

If she happens to call back after that 2nd follow-up call, the game goes into overtime, and you pick up from rule #2 and proceed again, if you're in the mood still. But the point of rule #10 is, you're already done, you've already spent too much effort, and she should no longer be mattering to you anymore. Move on.

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These are just the guidelines I've been using for myself the last 6 months, they've done me all right. I dunno if there's a better or more effective way to do it, if so, open to suggestions here. But this is a baseline for ya. --RedSeraph 12:36, 14 July 2006 (PDT)

By RedSeraph