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Nine Steps to a Solid Day 2

When you offer opportunities, and suggestions, you can gauge her reactions. Don't expect her to jump up and suggest the day 2 (although, sometimes she will do this). It's the man's job to lead, so don't be too vague and wishy washy. While on the other hand, you don't want to be so explicit that has a chance to say "No." Instead, you are giving her a chance to shrug or give an un-enthusiastic "alright." If she has to verbalize "No," it will make the job of changing her mind very difficult. So remember to test.

Step 2: Create a context for meeting her.
Once it seems that she is attracted to you, and you are attracted to her, you want to suggest a second meeting. Find a commonality or some kind of excuse for a second meeting. An example would be if she says that she likes art, I would say "oh, I'll have to show you my art sometime." In a way, I'm still testing her attraction. So, pay attention to how she reacts.. If she excitedly says "yeah, I want to see it." - good. If she just says "hmmmm… I'm sure it's very nice." - bad. If you are having trouble finding commonalities, you can throw out a generic "hey, we should hang out some time." Or "This is a great conversation, we'll have to continue it another time." You should now have a pretty good idea where she stands. If she's not showing lots of interest, go back and generate more attraction. If she responds well, you've already suggested a meeting and you can keep going. You can also dive deeper into your commonalities to get her more excited about meeting for that reason.

Having an excuse to meet again will help because it will flow naturally into the conversation, but it will also eliminate a main cause of flakes. It will give her an excuse to tell her friends, and to tell herself. She can say "yeah, I'm going to see his artwork." While really in the back of her mind, she knows why she is really going to see you.

Something else that I might say at this point is something like: "You know, I go to bars, and I meet a lot of people. And sometimes, I might meet them later, and it turns out they're all weird and stuff. But, it's rare that I ever meet anyone that I connect with like this." Giving her the feeling that this is a special case will eliminate the objection that she can't go out with some random guy she met in a bar. Overcome this objection before she ever mentions it.

Step 3: Find out when she is free.
Now it's time to find out when she is free. Ask her "what are you doing Monday night?" "What are you doing Tuesday?" Wait until you've found out when she is free before you tell her what you're doing.

Don't tell her about a great thing that's happening Tuesday, and THEN ask her what she's doing Tuesday (If she's busy on Tuesday, you've wasted your time.) So, find out when she's free first.

Lance uses a fun routine for this:
You: "What are you doing Friday?"
Her: "Nothing"
You: "Oh"… *pause and wait for her to speak*
Her: "what are you doing Friday?"
You: "I'm busy."
Her: "Doing what?"
You: "I've got a date with you."

You don't want to let her think that you're never busy, or that you'll cancel any plans to meet with her. Don't tell her: "well, I'm free anytime, so we can do it whenever you want." - even if this is true. And you want her to know that your time is valuable and you don't tolerate flakes.

If you ask, and she doesn't have any free time, or there is no time when you two can meet, you may need more attraction still. One option is to call her on it. Bust on her for not being able to commit. And keep persisting until you find a good time. If nothing works, you can make plans to do an indefinite something and set a definite time to call her, but this will inevitably be weaker.


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