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Nine Steps to a Solid Day 2

** They talk themselves out of it. Or more commonly, their friends talk them out of it. She may really like you when she meets you, but later her logical mind kicks in and she convinces herself not to go. Some girls may get nervous, or feel like it's a hassle to get all dressed up and go out. Or it may be that the attraction she felt fades away, and she doesn't have a logical reason why she was attracted to you. Or, their social conditioning will kick in (I can't go out with some guy I met at a bar that night. He was probably drunk, etc…. I don't even know who he is.) Her friends may also say any of these things to her. Never underestimate the influence of her friends.

** Something really does come up. When this happens, you can usually tell. The woman will be apologetic, and want to set up another date. Often this is really good, because you can set up a better date, or make her commit to paying for it or making it up to you in some other way. If she isn't willing to reschedule AND make it up to you for flaking… then it's probably not really a genuine flake.

** She met another guy in between your first and second meetings. This could be because she is really hot and meets lots of guys, or it could just be really bad timing.

** She's just a flakey girl and doesn't ever meet up with anyone for anything at any particular time. There are some people in the world like this.

When addressing the sticking point of flakes, it's important to understand their cause. Not settling for just a phone number will eliminate a large percentage of flakes. And addressing the main causes of flakes when the woman is in front of you will ensure that she shows up for the day 2.

9 Steps to a Solid Day 2

Here it is. This is the basic pattern of any good day 2 close. There may be some variation, but usually all of these steps will be present in some form.

Step 1: Be sure she wants to meet you.
Before you set up the day 2, it is important to make sure you have generated enough attraction and enough comfort. You must test this, and there are many ways to test. It can be done non-verbally: does she respond well to your touch, or is she touching you back? Is she making strong eye contact and paying close attention to you? Or, this can be done verbally: you can say something like "we've got a really great vibe going." If she looks away and meekly says "uh…yeah, I guess," then you know she isn't ready yet. If she looks into your eyes and warmly says "yeah, totally," then, you know she's ready.

The first step is that you must have enough attraction and comfort. If you test her, and think that she isn't responding well enough. Go back a step and keep chatting her up, then test again later.

In general, you always want to test to see if you have enough attraction and rapport. This doesn't mean that she has to be in love with you, but she must be excited enough to take the next step with you. When testing her, it's better to know that she's not interested now, while she's in front of you, then waste time calling and emailing her later. A lot of guy's might not test a girl because they don't want her to say "no." But, really you will save yourself time and energy by finding out sooner.

If you are getting bad numbers or a lot of flakes, the problem is that you either didn't have enough attraction or enough comfort.

For most guys, the problem is not enough attraction. They didn't distinguish themselves from other guys. I met one girl and when I called her later she said that she was actually just new in town and wanted to make some friends. In the end, all she wanted was a friend, and we never actually met up.

Sometimes there is enough attraction, but there is not enough comfort. This happened to me recently when I was under time constraints and the girl told me she was a bit of an introvert and didn't usually talk to strangers. She just didn't know anything about me. If I had more time, she would've become more comfortable. Basically, if you test and find that she is not attracted enough… go back and do more attraction. If she doesn't feel comfortable, then build more comfort and trust. Don't push for a phone number or a day 2, but keep gaming her and then test again. Make sure she wants it.

See Also

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