Writing Comedy

2. Misfortune/ Cruelty/ Slapstick. ; Woody Allen and Rodney Dangerfield use misfortune best, this is also self-deprecating humor. Theone I have field-tested that fits in this category is:Her:" What do you do?"You: "I used to be a male stripper…but I got fired for making people squint!"(Self-deprecating humor is usually a no-no but this line points to the fact that I am not a typical male bragging about penis-size anddenotes a certain confidence.)Joking about another's misfortune is funnier but can be cruel, be careful!(Sick-jokes) Every joke has to have a butt…what do you think lard-ass? Most comics have found it is easier to make himself or herselfthe butt of the joke. In pick-up sets it is usually better to use someone else, the target, the AMOG, someone else in the bar, someonein the news.Slapstick: If you can pull it off, go for it. I don't recommend it. Way too "try-hard"

3. Wordplay. Avoid puns! If people are groaning you are not being funny. Sometimes you can get away with a well-disguised pun.

Her: Nice suit.

You: Yeah I just got it, because the doctor told me I was impotent.

Her: Huh?

You: I figure if I'm going to BE impotent I might as well DRESS impotent.

Switch around common sayings;"I am proud to say that I took that casino for everything I had…""I smoke so much pot I am half-man - half-ounce.""Jesus saves…everyone else invests." (Bumper stickers use word play)

1. Status - Fall from status or rapid rise. Jokes about celebrities, politicians falling to the level of common men. Or the farmer who becomes king.

2. Stupidity. Think blonde jokes.

3. Surreal/ Tangential: Steven Wright: You can't have everything…Where would you put it?

4. Exaggeration: examples:Not funny: "I haven't gotten any sex for 10 years."Funny enough: "Neither me nor my ancestors have gotten any sex since the 12th century."Or exaggerate small: "I haven't gotten any sex since ... 4:30."

5. Sarcasm/ Satire/ Parody:My ex-wife routine is mostly sarcastic.I use the set-up of: "My ex-wife was a real alcoholic…"I then stack several punch lines under that premise"Her idea of foreplay was a BEER-RUN""I should of known, when we took our blood tests - hers had a head on it.""Both me and the local bar successfully sued her for non-support""I would come home, she would be drunk and horny. I would fake a premature ejaculation and go to sleep.(Sarcasm and exaggeration used in the above example)Satire is the basis for Saturday Night Live and Monty Python humor. Think "over the top""It was SO cold that politicians had their hands in their OWN pockets…"

These are pretty general, and pretty old. They are here to illustrate the formulas. But even dumb jokes can be hilarious when the timing is right.

The best use of humor is when someone supplies the set up unintentionally and you have a punch line to follow with.

Examples:

Her: I am from Buffalo

You: Really? I am from normal parents.

Her: I just bought a vibrator

You: Really? I was wondering how you chipped that tooth…

Her: I am having boyfriend trouble…

You: What, you can't find one?

Her: My boyfriend is kinda weird, but he grows on you…

You: Like warts?

Her: Do you believe in safe sex?

You: Of course! I always floss after.

Or

You: Of Course, I always ask when her parents are coming home…

Her: I'll have the salad; I am watching what I eat.You: I'll have the steak, and then you can watch what I eat too.

The trick here is to have a bunch of one-liners in your pocket. Read some old joke books and find the funny ones and keep them inthe back of your mind. Practice with friends. (Use the set-up and punch line if you have to, helps to remember them for when you reallyneed them.) I collect old joke books, Milton Berle, Henny Youngman etc…I get four or five really good jokes out of a few hundred listedin a book. I usually re-write them to sound more topical, or so they sound like they could actually apply to me. Once again I find theformula inside and rewrite it. I ask myself "What makes that funny?" I dissect and diagram the joke.A joke I outright stole from Henny Youngman's book Take My Jokes…Please, and performed for years and years turned up in Style'sbook as a classic neg: "That's a nice dress you are almost wearing."