Humor tutorial v1.0

Rule 5- If you can't smile, then at least be in good spirits

*The difference between being funny and being bitter is in the tone of your voice.

Remember this- You can laugh at your own jokes, and should, but don't be the first to laugh. They'll think you're a serial killer. Or a clown rapist.

Rule 6- Stick with common experiences

* No explanations needed really. Until you know the group well, don't venture into the oddball or bizarre. My normal sense of humor usually revolves around using funny-sounding words in funny ways ("DOOKIE!"), but it rarely works with people I don't know and REALLY doesn't work around females.

Remember this- to maximize the level of social acceptibility, stick with humorously touching on things that the group is talking about at THAT MOMENT. If you think of a joke that relates to something the group talked about 10 minute ago but moved away from, keep it to yourself. You don't want to be THAT guy- the one that derails a conversation and kills it.

Rule 7- Delivery is 90%

*Randomly chosen percentages aside, delivery is absolutely key. Unfortunately, as with everything, the only way you can practice delivery is by practicing.

Remember this- Andy Kauffman could read an instruction manual and it would be hilarious because he read it as a character. William

Hung sang Ricky Martin. With anyone else, it would be simply bad. With William Hung, it was hilariously bad because his delivery was spectacular.

PUA Rule 1- The natural neg

*You told your joke. The whole crowd is laughing. Your target just laughed and she sounds like a goddamn cartoon character getting fucked in the ass. Bam, give her a funny look and shoot out "Easy there, Woody Woodpecker." The whole group laughs (validating your neg), and you'll have just shot out a legitimate, socially acceptable neg.

I'm going to keep working on this and hone it to help people, if I can. Note- I have no idea if this has been done before. For v1.1, I'm just going to list line after line of general field-tested funny comments.