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Mutual Value Escalation
If you want to put a car in a garage, there's two ways to do it:
A lot of the current model of ASF has its place, but it's used at the wrong times: Making it take much longer for a guy to find what he wants. Playing with a flawed model is better than playing with nothing at all, but let's step it up a bit, shall we?
A huge part of the current dogma is to have a higher value than hers. No arguments there.
But, let's say you assess yourself at a value of "7" and so do other people. And she's an "8.5" on the objective rating scale.
Houston, we have a problem. Or, rather, a potential problem.
Now, there's a few ways to deal with a situation like this:
I) Long term: Become legitimately higher value. Okay, great. Should be one of your goals. Always improve your life. We've talked about this before. But it's not going to do anything TONIGHT, is it?
II) Lowering her value to increase yours: Negs, dismissals. Better than nothing. Really, I mean that.
Okay, these two above are the main ASF ideas for dealing with it. #1 is inner game, which some highly advocate and I agree with. It also includes things like the gym and nutrition, which guys like ijjji advocate and for good reason.
#2 is what a lot of people see as the correct "outer game" play. Regardless, solutions 1 and 2 both rely on another factor: Always increasing your value. I've never seen anyone dissent from intelligently and discretionately using Cialdini's concept of social proof. Likewise, being sociable and cool is always good.
So, what's the problem? #2 is like trying to drive in a nail with a screwdriver. It works, but it takes longer and is more likely to break down somewhere along the line.
THE REAL DEAL:
Solution III: Increase BOTH of your value simultaneously.
Okay, back to our first illustration. Guy is a "7", girl is an "8.5". The guy could use negs, social proof, takeaways, and such to decrease her value situationally to "7.5" and increase his value to an "8". Then, some logistics, some more gaming, some of this and that and ideally he beds her. But he's bedding a woman whose SOCIAL STATUS HAS BEEN DAMAGED!!!!!!!
He's bedding a 7.5. Now, if he's a really cool guy otherwise, but might not appear so on a first glance, maybe she'll keep perceiving him at a high level when she snaps out of the need for validation trance. But if it's all just been a front, guess what? She's going to start seeing herself as better than you soon enough, and it's time for all hell to break loose. This is a large cause of why some night game that's successful at "putting numbers on the scoreboard" is terrible at making loyal, solid, dependable girls. And many of these same guys rant about how worthless women are! When they're damaging the goods before they take it!
SOMETHING MUCH BETTER:
Instead, realize that you have the power to make any girl better than what she is, simply by virtue of being with you, being connected to you, being in your presence or even able to communicate some with you. She can feel more sexy, more intelligent, solve problems more easily, be more dedicated, be more rational, and so on.
Does that sound like a grand claim? It's not. A good leader can bring out all those things in a person, and more.
So, instead of you cutting that cute lil' 8.5 down to a 7.5, you make her into a 9.5!
Hold the phone, Dimitri! You can't be serious! I'm just a "7", I can't handle the 8.5, let alone a 9.5!
Well, first, my friend, start seeing yourself in a better light. But that said, check out the flaw in your objection:
You make her into a 9.5. Who is that dependant on? YOU! She feels stronger, smarter, more confident, more socially savvy, more beautiful, and more powerful around you. Without you, she can't have that. What does that do for your value?
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