How to Building an Identity

By giving my target my back-story, I ground myself to her reality ("When I was as a regular Joe") so that she could see how she too could be the type of person I now am ("This is who I am today") if only she were to make similar decisions along the way. You can even later use this format to encourage your target to ground HER life to YOU during the F2M attract phase by having her stick to the format. Simply ask, "Woah. Back up. So what happened next?"

Notice in my list of grounding stories above that the common theme is "This is what lead me to become who I am today." Thundercat too must do this - once he decides what his identity in fact IS. Does this mean he must steal my identity to do MM? No. He won't be telling stories of his first birthday party magic show. That would be a lie. He won't talk about how he learned the secret to a card trick by beating it out of a classmate of his, or how years later that classmate saw him on TV and said, "I can't believe your future changed that day." No, he won't use my specific material. Nor will you. But both you and Thundercat will use material from your own real life experiences as I do. The format or game plan is the Mystery Method. The personalized MATERIAL you use to fill in the format is what constitutes your style.

If Tyler D. for instance says "I'm a public speaker", what does that mean to his target? She can only go by an accepted stereotype and unless she herself is a public speaker (commonality) he needs to explain how he became one. He must explain that if she did the same things he did, she too would be a public speaker. If he were to say, "I travel the world giving lectures on social dynamics", he would likely over-qualify himself. If he instead said, "Well, when I was in school I went to this seminar" and "I started to help the lecturer for shits and giggles" and then "I taught a little bit at the seminars", he would be grounding his reality to hers. He could then continue with "I started traveling with them for fun during the summer" and then "I put together my own seminar and conducted it for the first time with the help of my friend Papa. It was exciting and I was nervous", and on and on all the way to "Now I travel the world, people look up to me and I make mad cash ... can you believe it? I never would have thought I could do it if you said I'd be doing this 10 yrs ago", he would be grounding his reality to hers using my grounding method and his own original back-story material.

Now, how does one answer the deep question, "Who am I?" A friend of mine told me, "You are what you repeatedly do."

I do magic on a regular basis. I perform it almost every day, whether for a beautiful woman or any other other person. Style writes almost every day (and gets paid for it, making him a full-time professional). Tyler D. mostly focuses on conducting seminars and workshops. What do YOU do on a regular basis? Besides being a social butterfly that is. Remember, the pick-up arts exists to enrich your life, not define it. What stories do you already possess that convey who you have become today?

GROUNDING REALITY is far reaching. It will change the way you M2F attract, F2M attract, and build COMFORT but will not alter their basic structure. It will also change the way you choose and structure routines, sequence them (which routines you will use and when), and convey to your target the way you handle challenges in your life.

So this is what you must now do to improve your game:

1. Figure out who YOU are by looking at what you DO repeatedly - something you can say in a word or two. (ex: magician, writer, toy inventor, CEO, hacker, rock climber, rapper, public speaker, traveler)

2. Come up with several stories that convey how you got from being a normal kid to doing what you repeatedly do.

3. Practice telling these stories to others to make the stories enthusiastic and natural.