Why Negs Work And What People Are Doing Wrong

Negging is very similar. You're squashing behavior initially (even if that behavior is a prejudiced perception) - but the goal is to stay indirect. Pull the leash to the side.

Let's look at Mystery's classic 'fake nails Neg'

If Mystery looked at a girls nails and said, "Wow, those look like shit."

Any person would initially react with defense. You're running headfirst at their wall.

But, by doing it in a subtle manner, you've managed to make your target a little self conscious (and thus less-confident of her situation - and thus less able to emotionally back up a bitch-routine [because that level of projected strength requires strong mental fortitude]).

Often times - all you have to do is create doubt: What a person's mind will do after that is more powerful than anything you could say.

***From this point I am building upon earlier statements and creating more analogies to solidify my topic points, as well as introducing a few new ideas/concepts: IF you're only reading for the Neg talk skip on to the next post.***

Who here plays poker? Not just fuckin' around with your buddies poker - serious Casio poker (and 1-2 limit doesn't really apply to these principles. 15-30+ [or some good 6-12 at the very least])

Mike Caro talks about an interesting phenomenon, in Caro's book of Poker Tells, a principle that I have expanded upon.

The basic premise is that people want to call you.

That is not to say that people want to loose - no one (other than a compulsive) wants to loose. What they're hoping for is the endorphin rush of a win. The price of a call is so small; they are willing to risk it.

Off Topic Tangent:

This is partly because they loose money in small increments and win it in larger blocks. The price of a call can be $30 into a $350 pot - seems worth it when you look at it that way. [This is tangent to TDs principle of Buying Temperature - it's a slow escalation that makes each jump less painful. I equate the entire process to being in a bidding war on eBay: You start off with you're 'max' and little by little you're paying 3 times as much)

This is all due to 2 things 1) Ego and 2) The quest for happiness.

When viewed through this lens - risk vs. reward becomes a very skewed and very subjective subject.

Back to the subject: People want to call you. So then, how do you get them to do what you want? In this world, where everything is not what it seams, the best way is often to do something that has no meaning. Scratch your nose; hold your breath; breathe heavily; bite your nails; fart - do anything you like. Your opponent will likely read too much into it and invent a reason to rationalize what they already want to do.

Away from the poker table I apply this same principle in the for of Open-Ended-Statements. I'll give you an example, then show you why:

I'm friends with a girl who has one of those online profiles (like MySpace, Tribenet, LiveJournal, Xanga take your pick)

For whatever reason; she posted a picture of herself taken early in the morning. She's not wearing any makeup, her hair is a mess and she's in her PJs (and all of this was added as a disclaimer to the photo)

Instead of falling in line and commenting on the picture with something like "OMG You R so Hott!" I sent her an e-mail.

All the e-mail said was:

"I think its good that you posted this."

When you make statements like this naturally, you often find out what lies beneath the surface.

A reaction to this statement is valuable because the recipient assigns the meaning.

"Why do you say that?" shows insecurities with her own looks. This is backed-up by the disclaimer attached to the photo " she's fishing for compliments. Because you see that, you can navigate this potential mine-field a little easier.

As opposed to:

"Yeah, I thought it's best to warn people up-front. It can be brutal to wake-up next to THAT!" ," Humor, the best reaction IMO. Tease her about it, and move on. She'll see the compliment (a subtle one) and she'll know that you appreciate her beauty " not worship it. That's why she likes you.