Openers Collection VI

If you get any NEGATIVE response from this opener (which will happen because its very non-P.C.) just throw in a mini-cold read: I cant believe you just said that you guys are craaazy. No way that's so dorky! You guys remind me of my little sisters!! (Pointing to target) You are like?the DUKE of DORK!

Hey guys??..would you date DAVID BOWIE if he was in a wheelchair? Sure, he's rich, but the guy's like 60 years old....well get this... (Transition into the David Bowie opener.)

Okay?.well would you date a BLIND guy...if he was really hot? If he had a guide dog would it piss you off....no way! You love dogs?! Wouldn't it be bad if you introduced him to your folks and the dog shit on the carpet? If he went out the room would you move the furniture around to confuse him? You could tell him you had magic INVISIBILITY POWERS / You could tell him you had magic NINJA POWERS...and he'd believe you as he'd never see them!!

Okay well would you date a guy with WEBBED FEET?...if he was really hot? What if he could swim really well? Like he had fucking DUCK powers... What if he was an Olympic swimming champion?? What if he went for gold?.but got SILVER......would you stick with him!? What if he had...MONKEY powers? What if he had........DINOSAUR powers--what dinosaur would you be?

Would you date a super-fucking-hot GAY GUY....to make his boyfriend super-Jealous? (Offer arm out in club.) He's just over there (use for social proof)! What if the guy was a movie star? And all the girls thought he was super hot! Guess what! I just found out TOM SELLECK is gay? y'know?MAGNUM P.I.!

What if he was a fucking model.... (Bring in your WING.) This guy is an ASS model.......! I'm a dildo model....! (If the mood's right.) Seriously? this guy is a SUPERSTAR?! (Launch into some funny field tested routine about the two of you.)

10. Who Lies More?

(Chris Rock) Hey guys, I need a female opinion? who lies more Guys or Girls??.......... The way I see it girls the tell the small lies like, ?You're ass doesn't look fat in those pants.? But girls? they tell the big ones... like... ?It's your baby!?

11. You Suck (Mystery)

Hey you know why you suck? Her: "?????" Because I've wanted talk to you all night but you've been busy, had all these people around you. Who the hell are you?