Openers Collection III

13. I'm Lost (Tyler Durden)

I'm lost... I can't find my friends and I'm scared... Remember when we were kids and you could just make new friends whenever you wanted... and you said, "Want to be my friend?" Do you guys want to by my NEW friend?

14. Introduction (ijjjji):

Grab unsuspecting SHB (with Bitch Shield) by the arm and point at a random dude

You: OMG, that guy is PERFECT for you - let me introduce you!! (Start moving towards the guy.)
Her: What?! No.. NONONO.. haha.. Help!
You: (To guy.) This girl is so shy, but she really wanted to meet you!
Her: (Giggling hysterically.) Nonono... its not true! (Fleeing.)
You: Awww come on.. don't be shy..

HBs may come back and tell you how crazy you are.

15. Jealous Girlfriend (Style)

Hey guys, I need a female perspective on something. This'll only take a minute. My roommate's girlfriend just found a shoebox he keeps hidden in a dresser drawer, and she's really upset about it. It's nothing bad, just pictures of him and ex-girlfriends on vacation and old love letters he got in high school and stuff. But for some reason his girlfriend is freaking out about this and wants him to get rid of it or she's threatening to break up with him. Is this normal female behavior? Her: "Blah." So now she wants him to burn the box or she's leaving him, isn't that fucked up?? (Girls get ridiculously into this opener, tease them for it.)

16. Karma (Slimijs)

Hey guys, I need a female opinion. Do you believe in karma? If you don't know, Karma is a belief that whatever you do comes back to you: If you do something good, something good will happen to you, and vice versa. OK, I'm actually with my friends here, but I can stay some time ... some things happened to one of my friends, and so I'm starting to believe that there really is something similar to karma. Listen to what happened to him. So one of my friends was throwing a party. And of course there was alcohol involved. So this other friend, who was a little bit pissed, arrived in the middle of the party. So in the end of the evening they both got into a fight, and are sworn enemies now. And some weeks back there's another party happening. So one of my friends is invited to the party and so is the other friend's sister. So you can predict what happens and they hook up and are in love. And now I don't understand. Either that is karma, or do girls just like jerks?

17. Khaki (Superfly)

Hey, guys, my friends and I were making fun of some frat boys, and got into an argument...is khaki a color or a fabric? The correct answer is that khaki is a color, and most girls know this. You can go into, "See, I was thinking it was a color, but the thing is that you never see a khaki car or wallpaper color or anything like that!" then fire into your next routine...