Openers Collection III

7. G-String (Badboy)

Hey guys, you won't believe what's going on with a friend of mine and his girlfriend. They've been dating each other for six months now, and my friend really loves her. But they had this big fight a few weeks ago, and she went to visit her mother to cool down. While she was gone, my friend was so depressed, that he ended up hooking up with some random girl he met in a club. Anyway, a few days later, his girlfriend comes back, and she finds this girl's thong panties in the bathroom, and she KNOWS this thong isn't hers. So she confronts my friend on this, and he lies and says that the panties are his! And that he likes to dress up in women's underwear. So I don't know if his girlfriend knew he was lying and just wanted to punish him, or if she really is into this or not, but she said she thinks that's really kinky and wants him to wear women's underwear around the house. So he's been doing this for a few weeks now and is absolutely… MISERABLE! So I think he should just come clean and let his girlfriend know what happened. What do you guys think? How important is trust in a relationship? Or do you think some things should remain hidden, even if it means being miserable?

8. Gandi (Mystery)

How's your history? Well, did you know Gandi was a lawyer? (I just saw a guy on venice boardwalk who was dressed exactly like him.) Did you know he was from England? Did you know he was hung like a race horse? (Laughing.)

9. Gay Bar (Vincent Chase)

You do know this is a gay bar right?

Her: "Blah."

"Yes." What?! I was just fucking kidding! (Act as if talking to your self now.) That explains why he was hitting on me.

"No." Good. I was just checking. Some guy was hitting on me soI figured I'd ask.

"What?" Yeah, I mean the paint job sucks, the selection of beer is crap and the bartender is ugly. Don't tell me you don't think this place is gay.

10. Girls Fighting Outside (Mystery)

OMG!… did you see those two girls fighting outside? Like right outside the club... they were totally going at it; one was pulling the others' hair, and the other one drew blood with her nails. And they seemed to be fighting over this short guy; he was standing near them just totally laughing!

11. Glasses On Or Off (Twentysix)

Approach Girls: Glasses off (take glasses off) – Glasses on (put glasses on) What do you guys think looks better? HBs: "On! Off! What? (Laughing.)" Glasses off (take off glasses) Glasses on (put on glasses). Repeat 2 to 4 times. My friends tell me I look like Clark Kent when I have the glasses on! HBs: "Yeah you do!" Why do you like it when my glasses are on/off?

Another way: I need your opinion. Do I look better with my glasses off (take glasses off) or with my glasses on (put glasses on). Put a fun, playful face on. Run with the rest of the opener above.

Trouble Shooting: If a girl asks you to put them on and off too many times: Put them on and off again, but act goofy. (Make faces, etc.) Oh my god. Again? (Playful.) Say to the girl who didn't ask: Wow. Is she always like this? Takes a long time to make decisions?

12. Hate Me Yet Game (Asher)

Example:

Her: (Right behind.) Is the plane in yet?
Me: (Looking back at her over my shoulder.) No, they had to get a new plane. But she (gate attendant) said they had to put some new wings on the plane first. I guess one fell off during landing.
Her: Yeah, right.
Me: But don't worry. Only eight out of ten of the last planes I was on have crash landed.
Her: (Looks at me, not sure what to think.)
Me: And only five people died. Look around. With all the people on this flight, that's pretty decent odds.
Her: (Smirks, still not sure what to think.)
Me: Hate me yet?
Her: Yeah. In like two minutes. That's gotta be a record.
Me: Cool! It's actually this club I belong to. The faster I can get a cute girl to hate me, the more points I get.
Her: You're getting lots of points for this one.
Me: I've got a postcard in my bag I'll need you to sign to make it official, though. I'll get it out on the plane.
Her: You're actually getting on a plane with one wing?
Me: She said they caught nearly all the rattlesnakes.
Her: Nearly?
Me: Don't worry, rattlesnakes love blondes. They'd never bite you.
Her: I thought they sucked, not bit.
Me: Only the female ones suck. And they only hit guys.
Her: Are you getting more points?
Me: I think you're confusing rattlesnakes with vampires. Hate me yet?
Her You're definitely getting more points.
Me: I'll bust out two cards for you to sign. It's a really exclusive fraternity. And the faster we can get people to hate us, the more rewards we get.
Her: Rewards.
Me: For every hot girl we get to hate us fast, we get TWO later. It's a good club.