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PU Openers Collection II

1. Direct Openers (Unknown)

Hi, I like you. And I'd like to get to know you. Hey, What's up? Where are you going? You're cute, are you friendly/interesting? You guys are so adorable. You have such a cute group dynamic going on. I want to meet you guys. My name is x-name, how are you? You look like someone I'd like to meet.

2. Do I Look Gay? (AceOfHeartSS)

Preferably used with a wing and with a game-show host/party host attitude. "I need your honest opinion on something...do I look gay?" Some chicks will bust out laughing when you ask this. "...Because something really funny just happened, this dude was hitting on me in another bar!" Better to use this with a wing and change it to "Does MY FRIEND look gay?" because it eliminates the self-conscious aspect. The person who was supposedly hit on must play it off as something totally funny and even flattering.

3. Don't Touch Me (David DeAngelo)

When a girl bumps into you in a crowded club tap her on the shoulder and say, "Don't touch me." Have something to immediately follow up with.

4. Doomed Relationships (Octal)

Are all relationships doomed after one year... you know, after that time when the novelty wears off and you're not sure really where the relationship is heading. (Strange, but a common experience for many girls, and if you pull it off, it creates quick rapport.

5. Drug Dealer (Unknown)

Used with a wing at night, with funny, just-got-done-laughing tonality. "Hey, I need your opinion on something...does my friend here look like a drug dealer?" Chicks usually either laugh or look quizzically. "Because we were outside and some dude came up to him and touched him on the shoulder like this... (cheap kino on girl) and asked, ‘Hey man, you got some E?'" Ideally you will use this with a wing who doesn't look too straight-laced. I've done this where my wing will open with this and I'll pipe in with "Since I've changed my look I get asked, "do I party" like all the time. I think they're looking for cocaine. Another thing I've noticed is about 10 times a night I'll get someone coming up to me and asking "can I bum a cigarette"… I don't smoke but I'm seriously considering carrying around a pack… but not like regular cigarettes… like Virginia Slims 120s… then I'll just pull one out and hand it to the guy and he'll be all like "WTF?" ..."

6. Drunk or Sober (The Shepherd)

Hey yous ladies girls, do you find a drunken or sober man more attractive. Her: "Sober." Put you beer down, straighten up, and say, "Fuck that's a relief. I thought I was gonna have to pretend to be blind drunk all night!" Then hit them with an opinion opener or routine.

7. Easter (Belistix)

Do you know if rabbits lay eggs? My little cousin was asking about it during the scavenger hunt and I didn't know the answer. Neg, call-back humor, later: Silly wabbit. (In an Elmer Fud tone.)

8. Eighties Dogs (Swinggcat)

Hey guys, I need a quick opinion about something. My friend just got two puppies, a Pug and a Beagle. She wants to name them after an 80's pop duo… she wants to name them… DURAN DURAN… I think that's a horrible idea… you can't have two dogs with the same name. Do you guys have any ideas? I was thinking Sonny and Cher would be a good one, because the Pug dog is a male and the Beagle dog is a female. But they're 70's, not 80's, so that won't work. Maybe Axel and Slash would be good, but they're rock n' roll hair band style. Milli Vanilli was a thought, but those are both guy names. We need a female name. Plus, Milli doesn't fit a Pug or a Beagle.

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