A serious phobia of getting close to people. Lots of girls have shitty,negative beliefs about what is possible with guys and that they talk themselves out of wasting your time is a GOOD thing.
If I can create enough safety..demonstrate enough to her that I understand her world, and create compelling interest, challenge her self-image, create the perception of scarcity THEN...I will NOT get flaked on, unless the other things I can't control come into play.
So it seems to me, flaking is partly about human nature, the fear of the unknown, desire to second-guess, buyer's remorse, all that stuff. But it's also about how you get her to IMAGINE THE GOOD STUFF, like the logistics of getting there and how proud and positive it will be for her to get there on time; and like the excellent feelings she'll have when she gets there on time because she doesn't miss you. Oh, not missing you -- leaving town tomorrow is always a good ploy.
Kooper: What i have experienced, since i only deal with this age group and younger (i´m 18), is that you have to stay constant, meaning that if you´ve let out the funny, joking, very direct "bad boy", you HAVE to act the same way next time you meet her! i´ve noticed that at the beginning of the next meeting, are kinda testing you for this, just jump right in where you left off and advance from there! your behavior then works like an anchor, and most of the time they´ll get back in the state of the meeting before after a few minutes if you remain CONSTANT! Note: constant doesn´t mean predictable!
Alan Palmer: You might like to turn the problem around. Under what circumstances would you flake on a chick? If you had lots of options with other chicks and nothing about this one made you want to pursue her any further? If you were genuinely busy? If there was something about her that put you off? I recently flaked on a chick. Met her at a script reading, she was sorta with an AFC; I smiled and established good EC a few times; after the reading, she dumped the AFC ("I want to stay and chat. I'll call you," she said to him), so she could talk with me; I got her number and email address, left soon after (to her surprise) because I had an early start the next morning. Something about the way she gave me her number ("let's see if I remember it", she said) rang a faint warning bell in my head. And then when I said goodbye to her, with light kino and kisses, she said something - I don't remember what - that lead me to feel wary. It wasn't what she said but how she said it. I didn't tried to contact her, even though I said I would. Then I saw her the following week at the same venue. I was flirtatious (mostly through tone of voice and eye contact), and she seems like an interesting friendly chick, but I still have no intention of contacting her. Something about her has put me off. I could tell she was puzzled. Here I am being warm towards her yet I'm not calling her or proposing we get together (this second time). And I don't have a rational explanation. Just a feeling. So from her perspective, I probably seem like a flake. A cunt tease.
AH1: Flakes don't happen for reasons, they just happen. Therefore, there really is no reliable way to predict WHEN they will happen. But: If you don't want a chick to flake, FUCK HER, the first time you meet her. It's the closest you'll ever get to ANY semi-reliable methodology for eradicating the flake.
Jetman525: Flaking is almost always HARD-WIRED into a chyck's behavior patterns. Her train of thought will invariably run something like this: