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Playing hot and cold, rewarding and punishing

      Hb:  yeah!
      Me:  what do yo usually do on weekends?
      Hb:  I like to go to bars with my friends and have some drinks.
      Me:  I like to do that too. (there are a lot of bars around this place so i said) actually I was planning to go to bar x to have some drinks. It’d be a good idea if you come With me and we can continue talking (the bar is like two blocks away).
      Hb: (she looks nervous, so she starts talking and sounded nervous and tells me sorry I'm a Little nervous) I can't I'm waiting for someone.
      Me: I don't think he's coming (she said he was half an hour late already.) So let's go and we can continue our conversation.
      Hb: weeell....


So we start walking toward the bar and I’m thinking how can i start eliciting values so I asked her.

      Me: if you could go on  vacations to any place in the  world. Where would you go?
      Hb: I would like to go to visit my father because he doesn't live here he works in Another city and my sister, my mom and me are here together.
      Me:   what do you miss the most about you father.


And she starts telling me the whole story how long ago he left, how often he visits them.....

And then I asked her about the job and if she enjoys working there and she says she likes it, because the owner it's real nice to her and that she like to have money because she doesn't like her family telling her what to do. I asked her whats her favorite bar and She mentions a new bar that is next to the bar we are going. So i say. I've never been To that bar so let's go to that one instead.

We enter the bar and ask for a beer. When i met her there was still some light but was about To get dark it was almost nine o'clock. So in the bar i asked her if she has many friends and Whats the most important thing for her in friend ship. She says she has many friends and that trust is the most important thing.

      Me: yeah thats very important also in a relationship between a couple. So whats you favorite movie star?
      Hb: Mr xxxx  (she mentions a singer.)
      Me: what does his personality looks like?
      Hb: he looks very confident and romantic.
      Me: imagine you  meet a guy who you  start feeling attracted to  and that you discover
      He is also romantic and confident. So you start feeling even more attracted to him That would be like meeting you ideal guy right?
      Hb: yeah! But i want a guy that is not jealous also.
      Me: have you had bad  experiences with jealous guys in the past?
      Hb: yes i have. My ex was very jealous and that's why we broke. I Have many friends
      And he was jealous at them.
      Me: what did you like about him when you met him?

So i start eliciting every thing she liked about him. Next  like NWC says I made up a story like follows.

      Me: you know I had a girlfriend a long time ago who had many friends. At  school And my buddy used to told me all the time that i shouldn't let her hang around Too much with them. And that's what he does with her girlfriend. I can't believe There are guys like him that shows insecurity. She met her friends before meeting me And i'm not her father and she's not a little girl to tell her who she should hang out With.
      Hb: why did you broke up with her?


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