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Fieldreport: Four Kiss-Closes

Anyway, the guy in line was just amazing. He said he was a priest, and then he took a ring (sort of like a keyring) off his cell phone and performed this beautiful marriage ceremony, full of undying pledges of love. It really was quite beautiful. I put the ring on HBRussian's thumb, and of course kissed the bride very well for a couple minutes. We went inside, kissed more, and paid our priest a beer for his services. He took our names and addresses, and said he'd send us our paperwork because he swears that he's really a priest.

After a little while, we leave the club and her friends are STILL on the corner. We hang out and talk with them, then I suggest we slip away again. We go back to my hotel room. She says the night is too perfect, that this can't be real, and gets a little shy about getting too physical. She says something somewhat sarcastic, like, 'I knew you were going to try to do this.' And then I tell her a story. It's an amazingly sad but effective story about a girl and a boy who each meet their soulmate, and then a sliver of doubt crosses their minds. They decide to test it just to make sure, but in the process they lose each other forever. I can write it in more detail if anyone's interested. Anyway, she spends the night and we fool around more (but we don't actually have sex, despite my amazingly told story). She's very sweet, and leaves in the morning, and I like her and think she could be a MLTR possibility. Until...

THE *CLOSE FROM HELL

On Saturday night, I go to a dance club, and as I get a drink, there is a UG standing next to me. She is sort of dressed trashy, so i wonder if I should talk to her for fun. While I'm deciding, she says something boring to me, like, 'Are you an American?'So, just for practice, I decide to go for a *close in five minutes (thanks again to Mystery for the confidence). I tell some stories, and we start talking about wild nights out. She talks about an orgy she went to and I get her worked up on that, asking about her feelings and experiences there. I tell her how it's so great to be in those situations where you're totally comfortable and you can just let yourself go, knowing that you're safe to do whatever you want and it's all okay. There's lots of kino and she's giving me the DDB, so I do the Mystery *close. It's terrible, because we're in plain view and surely people I know are watching me make out with this UG.

As soon as we stop, HBRussian appears out of nowhere and tells UG that she is leaving the club now. It turns out that they're friends! I am frozen and speechless, and HBRussian leaves without a word to me. I stand there in shock for several more minutes, then introduce UG to a friend of mine and go to find HBRussian. Sadly, she's already gone. And, worst of all, I never got her number the previous night. So the story I told her about the soulmates who lose each other forever comes true.

All in all, an amazing weekend full of romance, tragedy, and more *closes than I've ever had in a weekend clubbing. Any thoughts, advice, and funny jokes are welcome.

Ryan: Ouch. Good FR, I too would like to hear a PUA's opinion of that engagement bit. Sounds like gold to me but I'm sure there's some drawback I haven't thought of.

PFAL: That really sucks.

Highest Appeal: Your lesson here: Never make out with UG's in public. Or in private. Or anywhere. For any reason.

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