Interview For Wilder

So you've been studying the art of seduction, if not cold pickup, on your own for a long while before that?

Right, with no structure, but it was an obsession for a really long time. I spent a lot of time trying to figure it out - what worked and what didn't work. If you'd have come along and asked me was I studying seduction, I would have said no, but that's exactly what I was studying.

What specific benefits have you found from meeting other guys and from the material on the website?

Specifically, the thing that I had, was if I was talking to a girl, I could sleep with that girl. But I couldn't meet anybody I didn't know. I could through social circle, which was great, but I couldn't walk into a bar and start talking to someone I didn't know. So for me that's what I got out of the scene. Now I know how to open groups, now I know how to talk to girls I don't know. It opened up a whole new world for me.

Then on top of that the scene gave me a lot of feedback with regards to developing that part of my game. a) the cold approach, and b) now I'm hooked in with a group of people that are really good at what they do it's like I have a different level of mastermind circle. I have a group of people who are really rock solid in their relationship game and their cold game, so if something comes up where I'm "I've been seeing this lately", I get some really good feedback from people who have been down that road. That way I learn much faster.

I'm sure you've found what I have, which is that alot of them are just really cool guys and good people to know.

Absolutely, that's been the biggest benefit of getting in the scene. Meeting some of the greatest people, who also have a focus of learning about this type of interaction.

AFC Behaviour

Do you have any stories of severely AFC behaviour from your past?

I do, I have a great story. When I got out of college I wouldn't say I was in love, but I had oneitis for a girl who was the ex-girlfriend of one of my soriety brothers. I kept in touch with her on and off through the next ten years. Throughout that ten years I always had a thing for her - every relationship I had I had one foot out the door because I always had this girl in mind.

To her credit, she tried really hard to like me, I was just too AFC at the time. The funny thing was I wasn't AFC with other girls. With every other girl who I didn't want, because I wanted this one, I was my normal self. I had girls all the time. But because I was so into her, I did all the things you should never do. I flew her into town, I took her away for the weekend, I bought her things, I always sent her flowers on her birthday.

She tried so hard to like me, but she just couldn't because I was giving her such a poor demonstration of a man she could be attracted to. Untilfinally, after ten years she came out here, she'd been out before but normally she'd sleep in a different room, but she said "let's go away for the weekend". She came out here, I took her away for the weekend, we were together, alone, in a bed and breakfast. We started to hookup and Istopped, and I was like "how weird is this", and she's like "yeah...". And that was it, it was over. Like I said, she tried so hard to give it a shot, but it just wasn't there.

The real AFC part is that when I get home, after that, I sent her a letter, and it was three pages long, saying she's the one I want when I think about kids, and when I think about the future. Six weeks went by, after I sent the letter, until finally she calls, and basically we talked for a half hour, but we ended up her saying something like "the best I can offer right now is my friendship". So that's a girl way of saying "it's never going to happen", which I didn't need to hear - I should have already known.

But, what I took from that was, of course, "the best I can do right now is offer you my friendship". So I went to my roommate, who was like a brother to me, an incredible natural, and I was like 'she said "the best I can do right now is offer you my friendship"'. He sat me down, and he looked at me, and he said "Dude, this thing, is deader than dead. That girl is gone, you have no shot, it is completely fucking over - you need to understand that." It still took me another, probably two and a half months after that to actually finally come to the realisation that that was completelyover and done with. When that happened that was probably when I really started to address all the AFC views that I had around women that I'd really liked.