How to handle parties

The ASF mentality toward cold-approaching is to expose guys with little social experience to mass social pressure by throwing them into massive amounts of interactions with girls in as short a time as possible. This works in building up those social muscles and giving you the required social sense/strength to react to almost any situation with cool and calm (becuase you've faced rejection, embarrassment, whatever so many times already).

Mass cold approaches work in clubs because the area is so HUGE. You can do it over and over and no one cares, because the same people probably won't see you more than once or twice. And because there are so many different social situations happening all at once, with a multitude of different girls in various different emotional states, you just might land on a girl with perfect logistics and close her.

HOWEVER, at house parties, it's OKAY to just chill for a while in one place. In fact, it's a pretty good idea to hang out and just hold court, like a king. This is because people WILL notice if you are just drifting around at a house party, talking to a couple people but ultimately doing NOTHING. At a club, it's cool to be the guy going around meeting people, because at a club, no one really knows anyone else. However, at a house party, it makes you look ODD if you are at this party (this small-scale, more private social situation) and seem to be drifting around aimlessly.

Now, if you do happen on a situation where you can settle a bit and hold court (which you did), then here's the catch. You MUST dominate the situation, or else you will be FORGOTTEN and IGNORED by the girls as a sexual possibility. I don't mean you ahve to make all the other guys look bad, but you MUST look like the coolest (or at least, one of the coolest) guys there. This is what I mean by "holding court."

I know how difficult it must seem to get into a group of people and then try to become the leader of the situation. Sometimes, the conversation can just be about something that you have absolutely no knowledge or interest in. But here are some tips:

- It's not about who talks the most. It's not even about who people listen to the most. It's about the guy who everyone wishes were listening to them. The guy who's attention everyone wants.

- You are the man. Believe this mentality. Muz's style of just chillin at a bar looking totally uninterested works because it accentuates and magnifies this idea. It will engage the girl's curiosity. If you are bored with a convo, just relax and SHOW it. Like your approval MATTERS (and it will). Girls will naturally ask what's up. However, the catch is -> you MUST seize that window and ENGAGE them, or your set-up was for SHIT.

Girls are social creatures. At a house party, they are even more so. Many girls will not just be bitches, esp. if you have been introduced. They will open you. But you MUST respond strongly enough to grab them. I see this ALL the time. Girls will open a guy "what's up?" or "what's wrong? you look bored" and the guy will just smile nervously and LET IT GO ("eh, nothing" or "haha i'm fine").

The last time I got asked "what's wrong?" at a house party, I blinked, my face became grave, and I said "You." She went nuts, saying "WTF? What did I do?!" "You forgot my name." "What? No, you're name is Kevin!" Anddd I just burst out laughing "Hahaha" then my face became super-serious again, "Nice guess." "Haha, it wasn't a guess, I met you before!" "Oh sorry. Forgot." "Hahaha, jerk!"

Engaging a girl is not difficult. Maybe at the elite level, because super-hotties have just become DESENSITIZED to most forms of attraction material. However, most girls (ranging from 6- are SIMPLE to engage. You just fucking push their buttons and suddenly, in their eyes, you are COOL.

Remember this. It's not about whether you can talk alot or whether what you have to say is really that interesting or profound. This can work, but it's difficult because there are certainly areas of conversation where you will have little or no knowledge. A good solution to all this is to become a well-rounded, well-read, and well-informed man who is widely-experienced (which you should). However, this takes time and it certainly isn't foolproof. It's not about hwo much you can say or how much you know.

It's about how you handle yourself in such a situation.

One thing I'll do in a situation where people are chattering and I have no idea what the fuck is going on or what to say is just look immensely bored/distracted (well... I am lol). I'll play with my phone a bit, like I'm txting back and forth with someone (I might well be). Then in a lull in the conversation, I'll just lean over to the girl next to me and be like "Yeah, so tell me something. What would you do if your friend was GUSHING about this girl he thinks is soooo hot... and you just think she's ass ugly?"

Bam. You're in. Now the conversation's on something you can control.

Don't be afraid to just step in and say what you gotta say. Don't be AWKWARD about it, butting in randomly and whatnot. But girls (and even guys) at parties are there, not for intelligent, meaningful discussions about xyz, but to be DISTRACTED, ENTERTAINED, and CAPTIVATED. Remember this. You don't even have to make sense. Just SEIZE their attention.

By Flame