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Another long article replied by mystery about pickup HB
>Considering all the ugly, disease-spreading, parasitic jerks out there who somehow seem to be able to get beautiful women into bed despite treating them badly, I'm sure there are a lot of beautiful women out there who would be much happier sleeping with me
The Art of Attraction is an art of the mind. This is not a game of yatzee. Its a game of chess. The ugly jerks you refer to may get a girl or two (usually ugly girls) but the smart guys understand that behaving like a ladies man gets more girls. By systematic investigation we discover what works and what doesnt, share the info so we dont have to reinvent the wheel and get results. This has nothing to do with being a dirty jerk. This is an elitist group. You need a brain. You need to be sober. You need to take care of your body. You need to learn how to be attentive. This is no easy game of tic tac toe. I am a perfect gentleman. Consider Gone with the Wind (Rhett Butler) . He was a cool guy, but when the Scarlet acted up, he didnt take her shit. Self-respect - is that being an asshole? hmmm.
>My problem is a lack of social skills, if not life skills altogether. (I think a big part of it is that I'm so afraid of doing anything that will offend or upset somebody that I end up not doing or saying anything at all.) I have a very hard time making friends or lovers.
You seem to be suffering from NICE GUY SYNDROM. We call them LAMOs. Nothing personal. Here you are, such a smart guy, all clean cut and purdy and yet you cant consistantly get women to find you attractive. See? This has nothing to do with natural looks. Its all about behavior. How you behave weekly to alow the statisitics to work for you and how to behave infront of a state changing beauty. NICE GUYS go home alone when the SMART GUY gets the girls. NICE GUYS call the SMART GUYS ... ASSHOLES. Funny, isnt it? ! !!
That is an honest WHY. Happens to be MINE too. A little bit of QUALITY with QUANTITY. Not overly unrealistic. I suggest you begin by accepting the NEWBIE MISSION.
>So what will work for me? Can SS help me?
Cherry pick the best ideas for you.
>Let me preempt certain lines of discussion by mentioning some advice I do not want to hear:
"Preempt" - good word. You will be fine. This art is not for the idiots of the world. This is entirely an intellectual game. You will gain many insights here. SS is a good start ... MINUS the SEXIST connotation ... we understand where Ross is coming from though. He means well and has helped provide both information and a forum for womanizers and pick-up artists alike.
>* Toastmasters. I've tried it. It didn't help. (I didn't stick with it for
Do a 4 hour session in a public gathering NEWBIE MISSION STYLE. That'll get you learning quickly.
>* Therapy. I've been in and out of therapy all my life, with a number of different therapists. I have always tried to go in with an open mind, but it
Consider reading The Demon Haunted World by Carl Sagan to appreciate the VALUE (or lack of value) of therapy. Science and skepticism rules. Try The Skeptics Dictionary on the net.
>* "Just be yourself. Eventually..." I've been waiting for "eventually" for a
BULLSHIT! We care only about RESULTS. "If you keep doing what you;ve always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten." The change must come from YOU. Change NOW and not eventually or LOSE to those who do. Enjoy the art of it. Read what ART means sometime.
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