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Some replies by mystery about pickup HB
a dance", she says "no, sorry". I smile at her, and say "you enjoy your evening" and walk away. Feedback?
By her beginning the playful game of chat, she was qualifying you. You were too needy. Too typical. Too controlled by the AWARE state to think straight and NEG HIT her. They were playing with you and you had to play back but you failed. You also asked questions that could be answered with a yes or a no. And NO is easier to say ... less work on their part. You gave no reason to make her want to dance with you. You werent HUMOROUS, CONFIDENT (no neg hits) nor did you attempt to CONNECT with them as a friendly person. You were trying to dance and that means you are obviously trying to initiate a courting ritual. I would honestly call that a bomb. you bombed big guy, and for that, Im actually proud. Thats basically the worst it can ever get so if you can handle that, you can handle anything. Having the guts to try that shows me you are willing to get good at this. Again, dont set up courting rituals. Dont take a girl to the movies or to dinner when you just meet them. Dont buy a girl a drink or ask them to dance. EVERY lamo does that. But again, you had the guts to first go through the pain, and then the honesty to tell us so I applaude the effort. See, the girl was in CONTROL of the situation. You had to NEG HIT them and then take CONTROL. Seize the conversation. EG: Instead of fighting the young age thing, you could have added fuel to their fire until it seemed absurd. "Yep, Im just a kid. I escaped from my crib, stole my big brothers ID and ... oh oh, do any of you ladies know how to change a diaper? * worried look*" CONTROL, confidence, humour, disarming ... passing the test they give with attitude and a smile.
>I told him I was gonna stay another hour or so, and for them to have a nice time :) . After they leave, I spot 2 women coming into the club.
Good. Dont leave just because a friend leaves. You have to live your life.
>One was, umm, not my type, but the other I did find attractive (a common theme) . I watch them for a while, in an attempt to make eye contact which never happens.
Mistake - eye contact is NOT required. You werent smiling most of the evening were you? Think about this. I think you werent smiling. Also, I hope as hell you werent holding onto that stereotypical lone wolf BEER in a hand. If you would have gone up to her out of the blue and entered with the ELVIS INTRO, that would have been just fine. Playful.
>After around 10-15 minutes of trying, I notice her leave her seat, and start to dance near the dancefloor. I wait about another 5 minutes, and approach her (smiling of course). "Hi there, you look like you want to go on the dance floor" I say. She smiles
How many times must you try this very overused and bad entry tactic? No YES NO questions. No dancing.
>I say, "well would you mind if I joined
you for some conversation", she says "no, I dont mind". I say "It's a little hard to talk near the dance floor, let's go in the back where it's a little more
quiet". Shes says "no, I dont want to back there". I say "are you sure, I wont bite you", she says "no, that's okay". I then get frustrated a little.
Ouch dude. Why would a girl want to inconvenience herself for a guy who hasnt made her laugh or connect or respect? Dude, you try and that is a good thing, now, listen up to the things in NG (newsgroups) because the ideas passing here are going to transform your failures into successes. EVERYTHING you have done are CLASSIC failures. You were OBVIOUSLY hitting on her. In her head, the only reason you would want to TALK with her is to continue your HITTING and COURTING. Fuck that. She KNEW what you wanted. You were needy. You hung too long before mustering the nerve to chat. too. You EXPECTED more from her than just a chat. Oh boy buddy, lots of errors. Riddled with 'em. Typical man stuff. Now you know WHY its called an ART. :)
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