Become a Better Talker

author:          "Jugglar"
date:             Fri 16 Dec 2002 16:25 GMT
website:       www.charismarts.com
subject:        Become a Better Talker ... Being on a roll is a lot about leading. It's hard to be on a roll when you are not the one steering the car. If you are not already...

The key to being on a conversational roll is understanding how a roll works.

Two concepts here:

1. Being on a roll is a lot about leading. It's hard to be on a roll when you are not the one steering the car. If you are not already, try asking fewer questions and making more statements. Be the one who introduces new topics of conversation before a subject becomes stale. And try to get others involved in conversation who are not.

2. Most people in conversation segue off of subject. That is, they relate their bits of speech to other's bits based on topic.

But when you are on a roll you begin to relate by tone, emotion and even rhythm. (I just spent the whole morning deliberately relating only with rhythm to one of my girlfriends. What I said had nothing to do with what she was talking about - it just fit. Hope you understand what I mean. It's difficult to describe. If you ever meet me in person I can show you how this works. Fun as hell actually. And kind of mystical. Try it sometime as an exercise.)

As far as using canned material. Practice in front of a mirror. And while delivering it, periodically pause and look around as if you are searching for the right words. Do this right and you will not only appear to be speaking off the top of your head but you will also suck in her curiosity as she wonders what you are going to say next.