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Home > In the Middle > Eliciting Values >

The perfect relationship Routine

A simple value-eliciting scheme (from an unknown source):

You: What's important to you in a relationship? A relationship, not qualities in a person
Her: Well x1
You: Yeah that's really important to me too. How do you know when you have x1?
Her: x (talking about x1..
You: I agree that's a powerful one. Well, what else is important to you in a relationship?
Her: x2
You: Yeah x (talking about x2..
Her: x (talking about x2..
You: Wowthat would be great to be with someone like that. Well, what else is = important to you in a relationship?
Her: x3
You: Yeah x (talking about x3..
Her: x (talking about x3..
Step 2
You: Of those three values - x1, x2, x3 - which is the most important? Which would you absolutely have to have?
Her: Well xn (n being either 1, 2 or 3.
You: Well I could see that. Of the other two, which is most important?
Her: xn (n being either 1, 2 or 3.
Step 3
About an hour+ later:
You: You knowI've been thinking that maybe we've really got the start of something beautiful here. And I think it's something based on (x1, x2, and x3 in order of her preference she provided in step 2..
She will go into a pleasure state, at the peak touch her and say:
You: Can you FEEL THAT would be a really wonderful thing to experience?



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