Ask questions that get her to go inside

her: me too that's why I don't have a roommate BLAH BLAH BLAH

You see how she NEVER got to change topics? You keep changing topics based on TANGENTS to the original topic and it SEEMS like you are still asking her about the first question ALTHOUGH the topic has changed like 6 times

The WRONG way to do it however is this:

you: what do you do?

her: blah blah working with kids

you: did you live with both of your parents until college?

her: no, they had divorced when I was 10

you: do you have any roommates?

her: WHAT'S WITH THE FUCKING 20 QUESTIONS?

NYC: You have to APPEAR genuinely interested in her life. Ask her fluff questions about her life and move into the important questions from there. She will only tell this stuff to someone that she likes, so make the connection first, then get interested in her and she will be PLEASED that someone wants to know more than if she is a 38D

Alternatively, instead of APPEARING interested, you can try BEING interested Jake Thomson: I have an easier time simply being genuinely interested and curious about who she is, what she feels, what she thinks and believes and why than trying to appear that way. Also keep I keep my outcome in mind, am I looking for Ms. Right? or Ms. Right-Now? I'm willing to tolerate a lot more divergence between my beliefs and her beliefs with Ms. Right-Now, than I am with Ms. Right.

If she has a different belief system than you, neither do you want to start arguing with her nor to you want to agree with her (while you really don't). There's a way to turn the situation to your advantage nevertheless.

Jake Thomson: If we have fairly divergent beliefs, sometimes I'll ask her to try and convince me. I'll tell her something like, I hold somewhat different beliefs on that subject. I'm sure you've got excellent reasons for what you believe though. I'm curious, how did you come to those conclusions? What convinced YOU? And, if you were going to convince somebody, Debbie, how would you do it? Because what she'll almost certainly do is give me her strategy for convincing herself. As to just how that information might come in handy, I'll leave as an exercise for the reader.

Here's a simpler alternative to asking the questions - frame it as a game (see The questions game for a variation of this). Eric, Clifford's Seduction newsletter:

I say the first part of a sentence and then the chick finishes it as if it were her sentence. For example My name is (chick's name). Intersperse this with a few pacing stems like the above and rapport is easily built but here's the good part Use stems like I have an incredible connection when., I feel excited when., I am comfortable when., I feel good about. and then note the trance words. This is easier or faster than getting the chick to think of an exciting time she had recently and works like a charm. When you get STRONG responses, you can use some hypnotic techniques to amplify and anchor them. So that if it were to be I feel absolutely turned on when. I am safe, warm, and comfortable, you might just say Stop, go inside and think back to when you first felt safe, warm, and comfortable This is like a quick walk through someone's psyche without the BS getting in the way because IT'S ONLY A GAME!