Ask questions that get her to go inside

author:          "Style"
date:             Tue 19 Nov 2002 16:15 GMT
website:       www.fastseduction.com
subject:        Ask questions that get her to go inside...You know Debbie, most of the time we talk about surface stuff, like what we did last night at the party, or where...

In order to accomplish eliciting values properly, you need her to provide you with her core values and in order for her to be able to do that, you need to ask the right questions. For example, you could start with:

I think its an absolutely fantastic feeling to get to know another human being. And what's really stimulating, is to learn what someone else thinks of major issues revolving around us in this world. and discovering what's important for her in life. So if I were to ask you, what do you really value and what's important to you in a relationship, what would you answer? If she replies with ends values (feeling loved, understood) - bingo! Be the one to make her feel that (by incorporating that into talk about yourself or making up a pattern about that). If she replies with means values (the means of achieving ends values - like a strong, brave man to make her feel what? you need to find out!), do some additional asking: And what does it feel like to have a relationship with such a guy?.

Ask questions that get her to go inside  and  come back with values and criteriAnswer: Questions that touch on her identity as a person. For example:

You know Debbie, most of the time we talk about surface stuff, like what we did last night at the party, or where we want to go next weekend, things like that. It's ok to talk about that stuff, and I enjoy it. I find that I get a lot more out of talking about who we are as people on a deep level, what's important to us, what we believe in, how we feel, and why. So I was wondering what's important to you in a relationship (or this class, or a friend, or.)? Then listen to what she tells you. Stick to what emotions she's experiencing  and  why and you'll never run out of things to talk about.

NYC: You must know who you MUST BE to fuck her. How exactly do you achieve that? It's very basic really. Instead of talking about bullshit with a chick or your porsche or your yacht or your country club membership ask her about herself.

It wouldn't however be wise to just blurt out the questions, that might sound rehearsed (an impression you want to avoid like the plague, any signs of you having rehearsed and you're toast, unless she really likes you, in which case it really doesn't matter what you do. It would probably feel more natural, if you introduced the questions in the line of a friendly, affectionate and empathic conversation. An example by Ross Jeffries:

You know, I know in a situation like this, the typical thing is for a person to ask what do you do?. And, it's not that I'm not interested in that, but I find I learn a lot more about a person when I find out what the challenges are in what they do. Because I know their are some aspects of what you do that are easy, and others are more difficult. Some are a challenge and others you can do in your sleep. With me, in my line of work it's the same thing. So, if were to ask you, what's the one aspect of what you do that's a challenge, either because you have to focus in to do it well, or you just have to focus in to get yourself motivated to do it, what would that be?

When asking the questions, NEVER start asking disconnected questions, that is questions on different topics. NYC: you can't get away with that at all. What you have to do is STRING your topics from TANGENTS from the original topic. Make it look like a continuous flow so that they NEVER END telling you about the first thing they started talking about.

you: what do you do?

her: blah blah working with kids

you: the kids must be rowdy

her: yes they are hard to control blah bla

you: I used to be like that too when I was a kid

her: I had the same thing happen to me.

you: how old were you when that happened?

her: I was 13 blah blah

you: did you live with your parents?

her: no, they had divorced when I was 10

you: damn that must have been tough on you

her: I learned to survive on my own

you: my friend had that happen to her also she likes to live alone now