The point of eliciting values

author:          "Style"
date:             Tue 22 Nov 2003 19:15 GMT
website:       www.fastseduction.com
subject:        The point of eliciting values...The important part is NOT what she says she wants (tall men, rich men, etc.). The important part is ...

Introduction.

The point of eliciting values is to find out what she wants in and from a man and then turn into that man of her dreams by providing her with it. But don't be fooled, if she says she wants her man to be tall and financially secure, you're not going to the doctor to get implants for your legs or rob a bank. What she gave you were means values, which means that tall in itself does nothing for her - what matters to her is how a tall man by her side makes her feel. And this is the key - for each means value you need to find out the ends value, which is what she really wants. Let's take the example of a tall man. Asking her and how does a tall man make you feel? might reveal that it makes her feel secure and protected! Aha! That's what she really wants! She wants to feel protected and secure, not a tall man per se. In practice, she'll reject a tall man that doesn't make her feel protected and secure right away, whereas you, who you might not be tall at all but can make her feel secure and protected, have just elicited your way to her pants

Means Values vs Ends Values.

Know how she recognises means values and what they mean to her (honest, kind and respectful in this example). Jake Thomson: You learned what qualities she likes in a man - means values. Go for the ends values. Means values aren't worth as much as you think. Find out what emotions she experiences by being with someone who is honest. Repeat for kind, repeat for respectful. Secondly, find out how she knows someone is honest, kind,  and  respectful. She gave you 3 nominalizations that have a specific meaning to her, but NOBODY else. On the face of it, you've got no fucking clue what the hell she's talking about. If you hallucinate that you understand what honest, kind  and  respectful means to her, you've got a better chance of eating a can of beans and farting your way to the moon.

Ends Values = Desired State.

A post by Mr Happy: For the benefit of those who are confused about eliciting values, here is better terminology: You want to find out a chick's DESIRED STATES and TRANCE WORDS.

Me: So, what is important to you in a relationship?

Her: Well I like tall guys. (Means Value)

Me: nod And what feeling does that allow you to experience when you are with a tall guy?

Her: Well it makes me feel safe and protected (Ends Value aka Desired State)

I think that the term DESIRED STATE is more clear and accurate than Ends Value. You want to discover which states that she likes to feel, so that you can create those states in her. In the above example, it doesn't really matter at all if you are tall, as long as you can make her feel safe and protected. So run a pattern that creates those feelings in her mind. (Of course this is done by naming the state and then describing its processyou guys know that already, right?). Notea few common states that normally are important for every woman are comfort and safety, emotional connection, then horniness. If you only get the first part, you are a friend. If you get the second part (connection) then she will probably do the third part herself.

The important part is NOT what she says she wants (tall men, rich men, etc.). The important part is the FEELING that she experiences when she is around (tall men, rich men, etc). As long as you can discover the feelings that are important to her, and create them in her mind, she will associate those feelings with YOU.

An excerpt of Don Diebel's advice on not to talk about yourself but her: By talking about her, you learn more about her which will be valuable to you in planning a strategy. Also, it is a subject she will be comfortable with. By not talking about yourself, you let your image speak for itself. And don't forget, the less women know about you, the more women want to know about you. Be a man of mystery.

But only as long as you don't know, what she wants in a man. As son as you have that (you just didn't let her speak about herself while letting your thoughts wander, you also listened intently, right?, become that man.