Her: Um, normal.
You: That is interesting because I dated a girl for awhile who I would say made me feel the same way. She was such a stable person. And she really knew how to love me. This sounds terrible but I broke up with her to be with this really naughty girl.
Her: Yeah, I know what you mean. He was the perfect guy but.... what I really want is...
Many times girls will give you lame answers. Do not take them at face value. Probe deeper by leading.
JHunt: So basically I need to try and find out what she wants, not what causes her to want this?
Ex. She says she likes a "cute guy"(cause) and when I get her to tell me how they make them feel (rule?) For some reason I am having a little bit of a problem with this. I am gonna reread the post and see if I can better understand.
Also, you know the founder of this stuff? I have read some of his stuff, and the guy is one hell of a writer and he uses nlp masterfully in his teachings, or it seems that way. I tried to buy his course, but the guy that answered said I was too young. Oh well, I then found this sight.
Adonis: You've got it right. This is the principle behind "Trance Hijacking". and then you can STEAL the ANCHORS. I want to get at the VALUE, but if they give me the RULE then I can go back to the value from there.
Ex: If she were talking about some specific guy... I would first of all shift to a BIGGER view (Not about HIM but about the process... that of attraction...)
Like when she talks about a Movie Star or Teen Idol...
Like, "When you feel attraction, how do you know that you feel THIS?... (RULE, i.e. process) She might say, "I feel a warm flush..." I have said,"where do you feel this warm flushing?" "Right here... as she points to her chest" and I would try to get even MORE description of her process of how she GETS there. and as she describes it, she of course GOES THERE in her mind.
(FEELING ATTRACTION is a STATE of mind, FEELING STRONG RAPPORT is a STATE, BEING HORNY is a STATE, BEING TURNED ON is a STATE, BEING READY TO FUCK YOUR BRAINS OUT is a STATE.)
If you can Master eliciting these states and getting them to GO THERE... THEY will do your work FOR YOU. Also ALWAYS be aware of the KEYS that they give to you. (Trance WORDS, her Process... etc.)
I then go for the "Interaction" between the value and the rule. (I unlock the door to the STATE using the KEYS that she's given me)
"So what would it be like if there was this person, who you felt so attracted to, and you could start to feel this warm flush starting to spread right here (Touch her) from your chest... as it flows and spreads outward... becoming more and more intense as you can FEEL THIS... and ...(what she gives you)... what would THIS be like? What if THIS guy was right here in front of you and you could step in to this experience now... what would you most want to do...?"
And as she describes what it is like, she goes right into the feeling and experience as you touch her, focusing your intent, you may even be able to see her face/chest flush, her pupils dilate... and of course this is where you ANCHOR or just full on congruently move in physically.
JHunt: Genius, so for review... Basically, find out the cause, use it to get the rule. Describe and ask what she would feel like when she sees this guy in front of her. Then I toss it back at her with something like..."If your wer to see X (guys name), what would you feel like?
her: I would feel very nice.(I get that alot)
me: Would you feel nice in a romantic way?
her: Yes.
me: What kind of feelings would he, if he were standing in front of you generate?
Her: I would feel really (ex. W)
So then I continue, basically try to pry the stuff out of her?
Uberguy: Can you expand on the definition of RULE please? I am inferring the following:
RULE - The rule by which she recognizes a given end value. To use the player guide as an example, the means value is "tall man", the end value is "protected, secure" and the rule would be the condition(s) under which she feels protected and secure. Is this correct? I am trying to reconcile your EV structure model with that found in the player guide. I am not sure they are the same just yet. Would you care to give an example of a Value, Rule, and Interaction thereof?
Adonis: The rule is the "way that someone knows"... the strategy, the mechanism... the actions... the recognition factors. Here's an example:
Me: (Value) "What is something that you would want to have... a quality in your life... to be satisfied or happy?"
Her: "Maybe passion..."
Me: (Rule) "So how would you know that you had passion in your life... what kinds of things would you do... how would your outlook and experience reflect this sense of passion... How would you see the world?"
