Cocky & Funny Openers II

(Eating ice cream or junk food) "You really shouldn't be eating that crap! You'll ruin your girlish figure." (blah blah) "FROZEN YOGURT is a healthy alternative. You should be eating frozen yogurt instead…With ME."

(Girl checking makeup in the mirror) " Don't worry, it doesn't look THAT bad!"

Girl checking her cell: "Did he call yet?"

(Supermarket opener) "Hi, you're cuter than the average woman I see in the (frozen foods/ breakfast cereals) section...Are you friendly?"

Tyler Durden's Shopping/ mall opener, Cliff's List: Grab a stupid jacket off the rack, and say

"Whoa, this is SWEET…I should try this on NOW...come on, check this out." Then start moving to the mirror, and hopefully she'll start to come. Then GRAB BACK another jacket, the SAME ONE that you have. So now you BOTH try on the stupid jacket, and look in the mirror as you both look THE SAME. Put your arm around her like it's for a silly-picture, and look in the mirror together (role-playing couple). Then say "We should STEAL THESE", and watch her reaction, as you either playfully go along plotting how to do it, or she says NO. If she says "no", then GRAB HER STUFF, and PRETEND like you're running out the door with it. She'll tackle you, and then you say, "Know what?? I know a better way to make $$$. I need a RICH girl. Are you rich?" and start QUALIFYING HER.

(GYM) "Can I ask you something?" This will get the head phones off... " How is this butt-firming machine working for you?" (Even though it's obvious to you how it's working, it's still a great opener) Then, after 2 minutes of talk, say " Thanks, I'm going to get back to my workout."

Finally, before you leave, walk back over to her and contact-close. (Sitting in some fast food place and she's about to walk by) Move out a chair with your foot, and say to the girl " There's a free chair here for you" She's resistant and asks "Oh really? Why should I sit there?" Nonchalantly reply " Well, I don't just want to get your number, I want to talk to you first."

(In a clothing store, sales girl walks up and says "Can I help you?") "Wow, this new cologne must be working... Every time I walk into a store a woman comes up to me and says Hi." (

waiting for the subway, she's standing on the platform) "Don't fall onto the tracks! You'll make me late for work."

CELLULAR approach (street or terrasse)

You look her in the eyes and say to your fictitious friend " Yeah, it's always the same story, girls keep ogling me…yeah…there's one in front of me, and you know what the worst is? She's shy…Yeah she's shy. She's been looking at me for X min.

And she hasn't even started a conversation yet!…Ok…I mean, at least I appreciate the fact that she has a LOT of self-control; she hasn't felt me up so far." If she doesn't laugh HERE, well damn.

Girl walking her dog:

"Your dog is sooo cute!! What's the bitch's name?"

"Your dog is sooo cute!! What's his name?" (stop and check underneath dog) "Uhhhh, yeah. HIS name" or if it's a female, "Uhhhh, I mean HER name"

If you see her saying "Hi" to 1 or 2 guys she knows, open with "You're SUCH a player! Look at all the guys you know!"

She's standing behind you. Look over your shoulder: "You're trouble". (I'm not trouble) "YES you are! You look like a total bad girl! You just got out of jail, didn't you?"

She's digging through her purse: "It looks like you're trying to steal from that purse. I'll have to have you arrested/ thrown out of the club."

Woman appears melancholy or depressed: Say "Sucks to be you" and wink at her. (What? Why??)