Cocky&Funny Opener I

After eye contact/ AI:
"Don't just look at me and keep walking! I'm not just a piece of meat you know! I have feelings too! Stop and talk to me…"

" Don't waste all that good eye contact! Stop and talk to me."

(you say Hi, she says Hi back but keeps moving) " Don't let a friendly HI go to waste! Stop and talk to me."

"Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?"

(Catching her looking) "Hi, I just couldn't help noticing you…(pause)... STARING at me!" (let sink in) " Do you always maintain such strong eye contact? Or only with guys like me that you can't help it with?"

Women's weird styles are easy targets for cocky & funny openers/ comments.

For slit skirts or pants:

"You POOR THING! Your pants/ skirt is all ripped up the side/ back!! You look like you were attacked by a Yorkie! Come on, we gotta get you new clothes!" (grab arm) "The Salvation

Army is this way…" (Acting bitchy?) "Or maybe you need a rabies shot! Look how mean you're getting!" (denies) "Ok, well if I see you start foaming at the mouth I'm calling an ambulance".

"I'll bet you only shaved one leg to wear that skirt…or did you shave both legs? Prove it! Is your other leg as sexy as this one?" (Get her to let you feel/ caress other leg to make sure it's shaved)

For one-sided tank tops or one-sided long-sleeve tops:

"You POOR THING! You're too poor to afford the FULL shirt! Do you want a dollar or something? We gotta get you a real shirt! Come on I'm taking you shopping at Wal-Mart" (grab arm)

For one-sided long-sleeve tops:

"Oh my God! Your shirt is missing a sleeve. It looks like you were taken down by a police dog!"

For Von Dutch-style trucker caps:

"Hey, I like your hat…Let me guess, you're a long-haul trucker." For shoes:

"Those are some pretty tall shoes. You must be like what, 4 foot 7 without them?"

"Hey, those are nice shoes. (pause) Some homeless kid must be running around barefoot right now!"

For animal print clothes:

"Hey, do you know how many (leopards/ tigers/ etc) had to die for that (shirt/ skirt/ etc)?? The animal rights people will have your ass." For a woman wearing leather skirt or high boots:

"You're wearing a leather skirt/ boots! Some POOR cow had to die so you could show off your legs!"

For accessories:

" Those are some pretty earrings. I didn't know toy stores sold earrings like that!"

" What a cute ring (or watch or whatever)! Did you get that with the kids meal at McDonalds?"

"Wow, that's a huge purse. You don't have some little dog named Precious in there, do you?"

"So what's with the big purse, are you carrying a gun in there?"

(After labor day, and she's wearing white) "Hey, you're not supposed to wear white after Labor Day! I'm gonna call the fashion police on you! What's your name, I'm gonna report you right now." (if she resists) "Come on, what's your name? You can't run from the law, sooner or later they'll catch you." (later) Well you better go see the fashion police anyway, you know, do the right thing and turn yourself in. Just don't show up in bell-bottoms, you'll get more charges laid against you."