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Flame talking about ASD
Tell me this: Why would a girl you just met a nightclub, who you just spent the last ten minutes gratuitously grinding, tounge-kissing, hugging and groping with every which way, give you a bum phone number if she was just as into it as you were. This last girl was grabbing my dick through my pants and letting me grab her wherever I pleased, which I was. Her only request was that I not let her friends notice this. The other girl I got this far with was a little more shy about body access and kissing but she kept flashing this very affectionate smile as she'd put her arms around me. I thought both of them liked me and yet when I got both their numbers, they both first told me they didnt have their cell on them (perhaps an excuse to not have to type in my cell into their # or for me to not try to call them while we were still in contact?) so then they'd tell me their cell and Id agree to call/text them so they'd have mine. Both girls I met on a friday night, both times I waited until monday to call just to not seem too interested. Both times they were bum numbers. Whats the deal?
In this case, regardless of whether you attracted her or not, you DID NOT disable ASD. I don't know if you guys remember a thread where Fuhror and I wrote about the basics of fucking chicks, but this is fucking KEY. You CANNOT let them feel like sluts in ANY way.
Basically, what happened here was that you got them all attracted in you, then you assumed that was it, you had it. NO. Because in front of all of their friends, if they go off with you now, they will look like SLUTS. So the ONLY option remaining to them was to look like they were playing YOU, and give you the fake #. It's chick thinking, but that's what happens.
Next time, once you have the attraction (which you can tell from all the touching, intimacy), you MUST escalate. This means you have to move beyond just cheap flirting and move into some connection/serious-rapport-building shit, so you STAND OUT, so you are a guy who UNDERSTANDS her, so she is INTRIGUED and will forget asd long enough to establish further connection with you.
If possible, at this point, you can mini-date and go get something to eat, where you would once again work on the connection stuff.
Yeah, girls are stupid like that. We're worried that if we give you our real number, you won't call it and we'll feel like crap. Frankly, I don't expect a guy to ever call me, so I usually don't give out my number (that being said, the two times I gave out my number, I did get a call). I did hook up with a guy from a bar once. I made out with him a lot at his apartment, but then I felt kind of slutty... All I did was make out with him, but I was worried that he wouldn't want to bother seeing me again. As I was leaving, he was falling asleep and told me to write my number down and leave it on the table.
Instead I left a note saying that I was leaving him and taking the kids and dog with me and I had never loved him.
* Don't be sexually judgemental in any way. A woman's worst fear is to be perceived as a slut. She will suck your toes and take it in the ass if she thinks you don't view her poorly for it (and she knows her friends won't find out.)
There you go.
Now, how do you keep them from feeling that way? Taken from the same thread:
* To get a woman attracted / emotionally vulnerable, give her lots of emotions and feelings. Don't just make her feel good. Make her feel good, and angry, and sad, and connected, and astonished, and intrigued, etc. Make her laugh. Tease her. Tell stories about your sick puppy. Tell her why things would never work out between the two of you. Call her a dork. If she gets heated up, she will start touching you...playfully push her away. If she calls you a jerk and punches your arm, you are doing it right. If she gives you that "I can't believe you just said that" look, do NOT back down.
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