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How to talk to women

Her: "some pithy reply that includes friends / drink / type of music / white supremacy"

Me: "Is this your main club / bar, or were you trying something new? Is this place doing it for you tonight? Are you a hardcore drinker, or (spoken in a semi-condescending tone of voice) do you just do the girly shit? What's your poison of choice? If you like (whatever band / artist), do you like (some other similar band / artist)? Fuck yeah, white power!!!"

6) She doesn't have to know about you.

If she asks you a non-opinion based question, be sure to dodge it with something funny. These are your prime opportunities to be funny. If you can't think of something funny, DON'T TRIP!! Just answer it, but be vague or blatantly dodge it. Just don't answer it in such a way that she has no need to inquire about it anymore. Another example:

Her: "So what do you do for a living?"

Me: (funny reply) "I'm a government-contracted sniper. Yeah, I was the other gunman on the grassy knoll. I plugged that JFK motherfucker GOOD."

Me: (unfunny reply) "I don't like to say. People get the wrong idea about me when I do."

And with that? You've created an air of mystique about you for her to play with in her mind. Remember: if it's not an opinion, she doesn't have to know.

7) If it's going well in 5 minutes? Escalate.

Don't waste any time. If you like her and it's going well, start touching her. Grab her hand and take her to a less crowded area of wherever you are. Brush lint off her shoulder. Get that eyelash off her eye. Rub the smudged part of her lipstick off. Sit closer. Just start touching her, dammit.

8 ) Create a connection.

After 5 minutes, you should be able to discover something important about her. Find something you can relate to that's important to her, and talk about a similar experience. Make sure you touch on how you felt the same way as she did when such and such happened, because feelings are what speak to her. Talk about a near death experience. Talk about some common ground you had while in school. Parents, a death in the family, being the oldest child, being the only child, whatever. Make sure that when you're telling her about your experience, you speak of it in terms of her. Example:

"Yeah, my dad was an alcoholic too. I know what you mean. He'll go off on tangents and random stories, and you just feel like blah blah blah, and when he does whatever he does, you feel like he's just etc etc etc."

And with that, she feels like she has a closer uderstanding of you. Merely because by saying "you", you've easily conveyed your feelings into her.

9) If you think she showed an interest in kissing her, she did.

Don't second guess, because it's giving the moment the opportunity to pass. If you decide 10 minutes later that she really was giving you a signal and go for it, it's probably too late. Never err on the side of caution with girls. If she likes you, it won't even matter whether or not she gave you a signal. If you kiss her once, every time after that is easier....so keep doing it. If you get this far, you're sweeping her away. At this point, your problem is no longer holding a conversation --- it's escalating enough to get her in bed, you man-whore. Congratulations motherfucker.

Things to keep in mind:

-The easiest opener ever is "hello / hi /what's up, cutie?", followed by asking her name. No chance of sounding like you're dropping a line when you're just introducing yourself. If her name is unique, you've automatically got a conversation topic. If it's not? Your next best follow-up is to:

-Be aware of your setting. A conversation always seems natural when your first question pertains to where you are. In a club? Talk about that club in relation to other clubs. Movies? Ask what she's heard about (insert movie here), if anything. DMV? Ask how long she's been waiting.


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