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Attraction vs. Value

A theoretically perfect internally validated woman feels no attraction and chooses her partners based solely on their value. Of course those women don't really exist ;) so we have nothing to worry about. It is a worthwhile goal for us to become completely validated and choose those partners which only add value to our lives, and help us fulfill our dreams and goals in life.

There is also deeper level attraction created through kino and sex. When you touch and more importantly, fuck a woman, you anchor yourself to physical pleasure. This effect resembles attraction, but is much more powerful and intense -- also much harder to resist. It is the deep level attraction which locks itself into a woman's neurology through physical pleasure which will create strong bonds that are difficult to break. This is why good sex is so important to our game.

Ok, enough theory, how does all of this relate to GAME??

Flaking Sucks. Have you ever been in a club, ran a tight fucking set, had girls laughing, touching you and had their complete attention on you all night long?? Ever had those same girls flake? If you answered yes, then read on my friend, that is what this post is all about! :)

What you did was create massive amounts of surface attraction. But there are two important properties to surface attraction which work against you. Firstly, it is temporary and state based. It goes away when you do. Secondly, it is resisted because to the girls, it is a familiar unempowering emotional response. If you create a ton of surface attraction in the club, take a number and then go home.... I guarantee you have a flake on your hands. Flaking is the result of excess attraction combined with a lack of value. Simple and predictable. The only way to win a completely attraction-based game is to lay back completely, give her YOUR number and let her chase you, since any chasing on your part will dissipate her attraction to you. Likewise if you have lost a lot of value for some reason, if she discovered that you misrepresented your value, you cannot chase her to regain it. The attitude must be "Hey, I am who I am, take it or leave it."

Current anti-flaking techniques on mASF such as phone freeze outs and Next'ing her attempt to counteract flaking by creating more attraction. While these work on a temporary basis, they only address the symptom, not the cause of flaking. (I remember someone on the Intra-lair teleconference talking about using a phone freeze out 4 times on a chick before he got her to meet up) Since the underlying cause of flaking is a lack of value, merely adding more surface attraction is not only inefficient, but potentially detrimental. It only works proportionately to the amount that a chick is externally validated by guys. In other words, it only works on the type of chick who's only motivation in life is to be pursued by guys. Certainly someone I would never want as a girlfriend anyway.

If you play the attraction / validation game, remember that unless you create significant value, you are perpetually stuck in that game. Remember - chasing a girl completely dissipates attraction, so the moment you validate her, she will lose interest. Ugly / low relative value guys are forced to play the attraction game. The girl realizes he doesn't validate her, she says "WTF, this ugly guy doesn't like me, I'll change that!" and then proceeds to chase his validation, he plays a tight attraction game, fucks her a few times and she is caught.

The way to cure flaking is to demonstrate your value to a chick. Value has very important anti-flaking properties. It is permanent, it doesn't go away with time, and it is aligned with the influence of society and a girls previous programming. So when a girl leaves your presence, and her state goes back to "normal", you still have value. It doesn't change a bit.

Demonstrating value has a few components. First of all, you need to elicit what is valuable to her. And when I say EV, I don't mean the Speed Seduction EV routine, that can work, but I prefer a more subtle means. Through vibing with the chick, pay attention to what she talks about, and what her feelings are on different topics. Girls are CONSTANTLY communicating their values to us, we just need to tune into it. You can read a girls emotional response to things through her body language and tonality. What ideas and topics does she respond positively to? What does she respond negatively to? Cold read her values. You can say something like ... "I get the sense that X is really important to you... I like that." If you really want to be slick, then take her values and improvise a routine which demonstrates that you also have those values.

See Also

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