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A field-report about Amog by Tyler
TD You guys are a couple? That's so cute. You guys are so similar looking, it's like you're brother and sister. Oh MAN - if you guys have kids they'll come out like (I put my hands on the side of my face and make flipper motions and squeaky noises, pretending the kids will be inbred retarded)
HBBartender (and whole set) hahahhahahahhahaha...
AMOG What? Shut the f*ck up or I'll smash your face in.
TD LOL.. Whoa. Dude man, I'm turning back around. This whole corner of the bar is yours man. You rule this territory. You're like the alphamale of this joint man - CARRY ON.. (I flick him off with a dismissive wave, as I turn my back on him, on my barstool, and talk to the guy I'm out with).
(I chat my friend for a minute, as the bartender comes over and starts touching me and shit.. the girl from the AMOG's set is also staring at me, while I'm actively ignoring all of them and just chatting my friend, to make it look like we're just two old friends out on the town, having a drink to catch up... Then the AMOG comes over and puts his arms around me and my friend, to out-alpha us).
AMOG Hey, you guys are cute. I want to buy you a drink, man. (it's condescending to out alpha me)
TD A drink? Holy shit dude, you're like the nicest guy in this whole place Man, THANKS.. YO, this guy wants to buy me a drink! (I yell this a few times for everyone to hear, so he looks stupid.. they all laugh at him)
AMOG Yeah, I'm calling him cute.
TD OMG man. You're cute too. I love your nipples (poke him). Man, you can roll with me any time.
Out of nowhere, the girl from the AMOG's set crawls up on his back, and peeps over at me from over his shoulder. She looks like a little 5 year old, peeping over her dad's shoulder.
TD You look like a little puppet, peering over at us like that. It's so funny.
HB hahahhaha.. WHAT? I'm a PUPPET?
TD Yeah. Or a powerpuff girl (I haven't used the powerpuff girl line in months.. nice to bring the back old school on this HB)..
HB ahahhaa.. which one?
HB hahahahaa... What's your name?
AMOG (cuts in, probably thinking "How the f*ck is this guy doing this??") This guy is cute. I tried to buy him a drink (trying to out-alpha me).
TD Yeah, I'm thinking of going home with this guy. I can't resist a big teddy bear like him. He's so cuddly, and he touches me alot which I really like. Look at his big arms (I squeeze his arms).
TD Yeah, but you know what? Really, the real sexual predators are GIRLS.. Girls are sexual predators.. OK, get this. Girls are the only ones with ONE BODYPART, that's designed for nothing other than sexual pleasure.
AMOG Hey, you can't talk about this to my girlfriend.
TD Hey man, this may be your girlfriend, but she's MY little sister.. (I turn from him to the girl). You know what? You're lucky I even let you go out with her, man. If I wasn't going home tonight with this big teddy bear, I'd adopt you. You could be my new little sister.
HB (jumps on me and kinos me). OMG, I would LOVE that..
TD Yeah, I would wrap you up in a little bubble wrap envelope. I'd pack you in my suitcase and you could squish all the bubbles. I'd bring you to LA with me to hang out, so you wouldn't have to live in this sh*tty weather.
HB OMG OMG OMG.. YES! DO IT!
(AMOG is feeling deflated.. I have so many IOIs because I'm using a bit of party style game on her, in terms of the high impact lines I'm using.. He feels the lack of attention from his girl)
AMOG Hey, are you going to adopt me too?
TD Dude, be quiet, I'm talking about sexual predators.. Now where was I? Oh yeah.. Girls are the only ones with one bodypart just for sexual pleasure.
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