It's cool to be yourself

"Being himself" meant never approaching a woman. Never striking up a conversation. It meant never going out to parties, never really hitting the gym. You're gonna tell me that that's gonna win some woman over? MAYBE... but necessarily the type of woman HE wants? His dream girl, when I finally got it out of him, was the 6' blonde with big tits and a nice tan. You gonna tell me that one day he will find a girl like this who is totally into his "natural" computer-obsessed self? Riiiiight.

The thing is, he had the MAKINGS to be SO MUCH MORE than that computer nerd. But he DIDN'T KNOW THE WAY. Yep. That's the problem with 99% of these guys. They DON'T KNOW how to improve themselves. Because that's what it is: improvement. Not "changing your personality" or "betraying your ideals." It's IMPROVEMENT, as long as YOU don't feel that you are betraying yourself.

I took this kid, made him get contacts, made him hit the gym. I asked him to find a girl to go shopping with to find cool clothes to accentuate his new build. Then I grabbed his hand and took him out to hit the town.

His sense of humor? I didn't change it, betray it, whatever. I just taught him how to CALIBRATE his humor to the situation. Don't make "lol Jew" jokes. Tease her. Engage her. I know you're shy but try shedding that JUST for tonight and see how it feels. Pull her hair. See? It's a joke, she's not angry, she's flirting back. Yes, THAT'S flirting. Smile more. Loosen your shoulders, don't tighten up. Relax. FUCKING SMILE.

All these little things.... a myriad of things... on their own, not very important. But they combine to create very powerful impressions on people you meet, ESPECIALLY women. All I did was help him fine tune these things.

That's all we're really aiming for here. To help guys come out of their shells, to try new things, to understand just who they are and, more importantly, how MUCH they have to offer women.

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What I may not have made explicit in my story is... well, yes, Irene was just as confused and lost as I was. HOWEVER, it could've turned into a relationship we both enjoyed, has I stepped up and paced things and lead things a bit. You can argue that if she wasn't so confused/naive/whatever, she could've lead things. But really, after many woman and much time out in the field, I can tell you that, at least INITIALLY, the man pretty much has to lead. Even with the most gorgeous, self-assured women out there, models or actresses or whatever, INTIALLY, in COURTSHIP, they want to be lead. This is what it means to be "swept off your feet."

You said it yourself. Girls like to be swept off their feet. Initially, they like to be lead. It's funny really. One of greatest womanizers I know has a thing for strippers. He's had many partners who were strippers and it's hilarious... you'd think these girls, so overtly sexual and sexually confident, with all their beauty and choice of men... you'd think they'd be all aggressive and shit. Nope. You know what melts them? When he orders them around, or teases them, like "Hey... you've spent way too much time talking to me. Get back to work. Go make those old guys over there happy."

One of the hottest girls I've ever been with told me that one of the things she loved about me was when we were going to meet up for the second time and I told her over the phone, "Hey, be pretty for me, okay? Wear a skirt, I love skirts. And I have a feeling you're going to look amazing in one." As simple as that, a little direction.

Now, I'm not saying that the guy should be DOMINEERING or CONTROLLING. I'm just attesting to the fact that guys need to lead a bit in the beginning of any romantic interaction. It's in the girl's nature to play it safe, to feel NERVOUS. I was once told that when a girl is about to have sex with a guy for the first time, it feels to her like she's putting $10,000 on red in roulette. Like she's nervous, she doesn't know if you're for real, if she's doing the right thing, too early, too soon. That's cool. Women are emotional creatures, I love them for it. I just want to manage things a bit, so I can sweep her off her feet and have BOTH ourselves a good time.