What's the Attraction?

I was talking to one of my students who I first instructed a few years ago. He's gone on to become a veritable heartbreaker, I'm sad to say. See, I don't believe in putting women down hard, I believe in always leaving them better than they were when I found them. But my man - we'll call him Kaz - lives a busy life and winds up breaking women's hearts.

Well, Kaz is Asian if you hadn't realized that. And guess what he hears a lot? "You're the first Asian guy I've ever been attracted to". But then you know what happens? Post-Kaz-heartbreak, the women start dating Asian guys.

This is how the barriers get broken down. One really high-value guy that's not normally on the woman's radar breaks through, and then that specific value - "I only date black guys", "I only date Asian guys", "I only date older guys" - is gone. Specific value helps a lot to be sure, but if you're better than the rest you can get what you want.

ATTAINABILITY

Value is a huge part of attraction. A tremendous part. If you don't have any value, it doesn't matter at all if she has a shot at that no-value.

But value is pretty easy to appear to have. You already have some in your life, no doubt. If you're at all driven or successful in anything you do, you've got SOME value. You could get more, or at least appear to have more, and we're going to help you with that.

This raises the age-old question then - "I'm a great guy, but women don't seem to like me. Why?"

The answer is quite simply - they don't see that you're a great guy FOR THEM.

Attainability converts "value" into "value for her life". It gives her a chance to believe she can have your value and it can enrich her life.

This confuses some men, especially men that have never had really great girlfriends, or are looking for really elite women that they might perceive as beyond them.

Consider this: What woman in your own life drove you absolutely crazy? Close your eyes and imagine her.

Got her? That girl that kept your up at night?

That you daydreamed about? Know who I'm talking about?

Okay. Got her?

Is it..

1. Pamela Anderson?

2. Cindy Crawford?

3. Lucy Liu?

4. Mariah Carrey?

5. Carmen Electra?

6. Charlize Theron?

Or any other really beautiful actress/model/singer type?

Of course not. It's probably a neighbor, or a classmate. A girl that lived near you, or was part of your social circle.

The reason is that that woman seemed attainable to you, in a way that a centerfold didn't.

This comes down to what's called the Auto-Rejection Mechanism. If someone believes they can't have something, they'll rationalize they don't want it so that they can be happy.

This is the reason that very unattractive women get extremely rude and nasty when hit on in bars - They assume it's insincere and they have no chance, so they become absolutely rude.

Being attainable does not mean being available - the woman shouldn't believe that she has you no matter what, and can't lose you no matter what she does. She should believe she has a shot to get you if you want to attract her.

COMPLIANCE

Ever been to a carnival? Or an amusement park or anything with those games you pay a couple dollars to play to try to win prizes?

Ever win? Or see a guy who did?

How do they feel?

They pump their fist, get excited. They get a stuffed tiger for a prize, and usually either give that tiger as a sign of affection to a girlfriend or put it on a shelf like a trophy.

This comes down to the Cost-Worth Conception. People think things are worth what they cost.