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The fear of rejection

What happens is this: he feels the rejection, polite or not, as a direct invalidation of his very soul. It sends a man into paroxysms of self examination. "Why?" he asks, "What is it about me that she didn't like? Am I not tall enough? Charming enough? What did I do? What didn't I do? Why?"

And the cycle repeats.

I once saw a sign in a hotel lobby in Vienna (of all places) that said this: "If you could see yourself the way others see you, you would be amazed." I thought about that sign for a long time, and you should too. For if you do, you will discover that it truly is the answer to the fear of rejection.

Always remember that no matter what the outcome, no matter how she responds to you, you are still you! You never lose. Never forget this, for it is the key to overcoming your fear of rejection.

And then... do it anyway. Even successful, confident speakers and performers get butterflies just before they go onstage. It is natural. The difference is that they do it anyway. They don't fail to act. They don't necessarily have less fear of rejection than the rest of us; instead they take a deep breath, steel themselves, and do it anyway - in spite of their fear.

Success breeds confidence and confidence, as we know, breeds success.

So the next time you see her, don't hesitate. Instead, approach her with a smile, knowing in your heart that she too is afraid of rejection, that she too is nervous about how she appears.

Don't reject yourself on her behalf - before you have even met her! Acknowledge your fear, and then do it anyway.

Remember: No matter what happens, you are still you. You never lose!

By Zan

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