3. Using Role-Playing
Role-playing involves finding a humorous situation and then projecting
the two of you into that "role". It's very powerful because #1 it's FUN,
and #2 it projects the 2 of you doing things together in the future
(even though the situations are clearly fictional). Here are some
examples of role-plays you could use:
Vegas wedding role-play
-You're pretty cool. We should get married. Right now. Let's go to Las
Vegas and get married! It was good enough for Britney Spears, it's good
enough for us!
-There's a plane leaving for Vegas in 2 hours. I checked!
-We'll get Little Richard himself to marry us. Or do you prefer Elvis?
-Since we're gonna annul the marriage after, we have to follow the
rules: So we can't have any sexual contact! (Awwwww) Ok, well maybe some
heavy petting and a hickie then.
-We could have our honeymoon in Fiji! And we can stay in those grass
huts that stand over the water.
-Actually FORGET the grass huts…our wedding night activities would tear
the hut to shreds! And we'd get grass stains all over our NAKED bodies
from all the friction! (If she brings up the no sex annulment rule, say
"Well the judge won't know we did anything when we go for the
annulment")
-Remember, we're only gonna be married for about 2 weeks, so don't make
too many plans!
If going for a walk later, and there's a church nearby…
-(So what are we doing now?) Well I thought we were gonna get married??
-We don't need Vegas, its' the same thing anyway…instead of being
married by a man in an elvis costume we'll be married by a man in a
DRESS…instead of carrying you across the threshold in a cheap motel room
in Vegas, it'll be a cheap motel downtown
-Come with me, there's a church down the street
(Walk to the nearest Church…If your meeting takes place at night
there'll be a
90% chance that the doors will be locked). This is BULLSHIT man!
Churches are getting terrible hours, they're worse than banks these
days!!!
(If you happen to find that the church is open, and you have the balls
to pull this off, go in with her and talk to the minister!)
Good evening Pastor/Reverend/Father, we're looking to book a wedding.
(when?) Well, as soon as possible (In three weeks in the afternoon blah
blah) Can't it be any sooner? (blah blah) This is a nice church, it must
be expensive for a wedding ceremony here? (gives price) Oww…Do you offer
financing? What's your APR? (blah blah) Ok, we'll go check with another
church and come back…we'll do some price-shopping. Thanks for your time
Pastor/Reverend/Father!
(To girl after leaving) See? You have to price shop! These (Baptist,
Anglican, whichever denomination) people will rip you off! Ok forget the
church, all we need is a minister! We need to find a priest walking
around downtown on a Friday night… Or a JUDGE!! A judge could marry us!
We need to find a judge.
Hey I have an idea!! Let's have raw, dirty, public sex right here in the
street! We'll be in front of a judge in no time!! (of course the woman
will say no) Ok fine let's smash some windows, boost a car….then smash
it into the back of a police car!
Ok ok forget the wedding for tonight, we'll get married tomorrow. I'm
gonna have my bachelor party tonight, and you're invited! Now let's go
get loaded and see some strippers!!! (she says she wants to have a
bachelorette party) Well, you'll need to find a male stripper for a
bachelorette party, might be kinda tough at this late hour…I volunteer!
Sacrilege role-play
Hey I got a great idea to pass the time! (what) I dress up like a
priest…You dress up as a nun…then we go to mass on Sunday, and just to
freak everyone out we'd just start MAKING OUT. What do you think,
"Sister"?
Simple name role-play
"If you were a man, what name would you want to have?" Then call her by
that name from then on. She'll ask you back, so have an answer ready and
be prepared to have her call you it back when you use HER ‘opposite sex
name'.
The "Would You" Game
Closely related to role-playing is the "Would You" game. Ask her how
much money it would take for her to (be a stripper, change the oil in my
car, have sex with an 80 year-old man, etc). Whatever she says, try to
talk her down in price!
The real beauty of role-plays is that you can easily use "call-back
humor" with them. Next time you call her you can say "Hi! It's your
future temporary husband" or "Hey Barbie! It's Ken". This can instantly
get her in the fun state created by your prior role-play and start the
conversation off playfully.
