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Body Language And Tonality Troubleshooting

Voice tone and projection

The Macho/Nice/Good trinity also applies to voice quality. For instance, a low voice (Nice guy) shows meekness and nervousness, whereas an overly loud voice (Macho guy) shoes overcompensation and insecurity. Also, when it comes to voice and speech matters, you want to try and cut out "placeholder" words (words that you throw in while your brain tries to think of what to say next). Examples of this are "right," "um," and "you know."

Projecting your voice communicates strength and security, and people will take notice of you. It will allow you to take control of groups better, and is a very useful skill to have in a loud environment like a club or bar.

Also, work on speaking slower and deeper, and…using…PAUSES.

There are four major cues that show a lack of confidence:

1. Speaking too quickly. You want to speak powerfully and clearly, projecting your voice. If you speak too quickly, it looks like you're just running your mouth and don't really know what to say.

2. Nervous energy. Having lots of nervous energy shows a serious lack of confidence, almost like you're not comfortable in your own body or nervous about talking to the girl. If you have this nervous energy, clasp your thumbs in you back pockets and lean back. This will make you look more laid back and relaxed even if you are screaming with terror on the inside.

3. Laughing at your own jokes. The last cue that gives away a lack of confidence is laughing at your own jokes. Laughing at your own jokes undermines the humor and makes it look like you're trying too hard to be funny. Allow others to determine what's funny and judge them on it. If you laugh at stuff that isn't funny, you look like a tool.

4. Nervous ticks and fidgeting. You may APPEAR calm and confident when talking to a woman, but if your foot is shaking, you’re gritting your teeth, or you’re tapping the table it’ll give away the fact that you’re nervous. Work to eliminate these habits from your normal behaviors.

Tonality shifts are huge in all interactions with chicks at any stage. You don’t want to be that boring guy. Change things up!

 

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