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Back To The Very Basics - Body Language

Julius Fast wrote the first book on Body Language, and in fact coined the phrase. I attempted to model his "Mike". What follows is a long passage of Fasts book verbatim (it is the passage that I re-read many times as a kid) that I think my be missing from the group, given I have suddenly sensed a lack of aggressiveness with women, willingness to close and that people may be relying too much on routines and SS without this basic shit under their belts:

"Mike is a ladies man, someone who is never at a loss for a girl. Mike can enter a party full of strangers and within 10 minutes end up on intimate terms with one of the girls. Within half an hour he has cut her out of the pack and is on his way home with her -- to his place or hers, depending on which is closer.

How does Mike do it? Other men who have spent half the evening drumming up enough courage to approach a girl, will see Mike come in and take over quickly and effectively. But they don't know why.

Ask the girls and they'll shrug. "I don't know. He just has his antennae out, I guess. I get signals, and I answer them, and the first thing I know ...".

Mike is not particularly good looking. He's smart enough, but that is not his attraction. It seems that Mike almost has a sixth sense about him. If there is an available girl Mike will find her, or she will find him.

What does Mike have?

Well, if he hasn't looks or brilliance, he has something far more important for this type of encounter. Mike has an unconscious command of body language and he uses it expertly. When Mike saunters into a room he signals his message automatically. "I'm available, I'm masculine. I'm aggressive and knowledgeable." And then when he zeroes in on his chosen subject, the signals go, "I'm interested in you. You attract me. There's something exciting about you and I want to find out what that is."

Watch Mike in action. Watch him make contact and signal his availability. We all know at least one Mike, and we all envy him his ability. What is the body language he uses?

Well, Mikes appeal, Mikes nonverbal clarity, is compounded of many things. His appearance is part of it. Not the appearance he was born with, thats rather ordinary, but the way Mike has rearranged that appearance to transmit his message. There is, when you look at Mike carefully, a definite sexuality about him.

"Of course" a knowing woman will say, "Mike is a very sexy man." But sexy how? Not in his features.

Pressed further, the woman will explain, "It is something about him, something he has, a sort of aura".

Actually its nothing of the sort, nothing so vague as an aura. In part its the way Mike dresses -- the type of shoes, [etc.] ... these all contribute to the immediate picture, but even more important is the way Mike stands and walks.

One woman describes it as an "easy grace". A man who knew Mike was not so kind. "He's greasy." What came through as pleasing to the woman was transmitted as disturbing or challenging and therefore distasteful to the man, and he reacted by characterizing the quality contemptuously. Yet Mike does move with grace, an arrogant sort of grace that could well arouse a mans envy and a woman's excitement. A few actors have this same movement, Paul Newman, Marlon Brando, Rip Torn, and with it they can transmit an obvious sexual message. The message can be broken down into the way they hold themselves, their stance or posture, and the easy confidence of their motion. The man who has that walk needs little else to turn a woman's head.

But Mike has more. He has dozens of little gestures, perhaps unconscious ones, that send out the elaborations of his sexual message. [Etc. etc. as Fast describes a whole bunch of body language]

Mike himself explained how he proceeded after this. "I size up the women, the ones who want it. How? Its easy. By the way they stand or sit. And then I make my choice and catch her eye. If she's interested shell respond. If not I forget her."

"How do you catch her eye?"

"I hold the glance a little longer than I should since I don't really know her. I wont let her eyes slide away, and I narrow mine ... sort of."

But there is more to Mikes approach the insistent eye, as I observed one evening at a party. Mike has an uncanny instinct for sizing up a woman's defensive body language and breaking it down. Are her arms clasped defensively? He opens his [as Fast describes pacing and mirroring, then leading her once in rapport to more favorable body language]

Mike moves in on a woman. When he has make signal contact, when his body gets the message of his availability across, his next step is physical invasion. But physical invasion without touch.

He cuts into the woman's territory of body zone. He comes close enough for her to be uneasy, and yet not close enough for her to logically object. Mike doesn't touch his victim needlessly. His closeness, his intrusion into her territory is enough to change the situation between them.

Then Mike carries his invasion even further by visual intrusion as they talk. What they say doesn't really matter much. Mikes eyes do far more talking than his voice. They linger on a woman's throat, on her breasts, on her body. They linger sensuously and with promise. Mike touches his tongue to his lips, narrows his eyes, and invariably the woman becomes uneasy and excited. Remember, she is not just any woman, but that particular woman who has responded to Mikes opening gambit. She has returned his flattering attention, and now is in way too deep. And anyway, what could she protest against? Just what has Mike done? He hasn't touched her. He hasn't made any suggestive remark. He is, by all the standards of society, a perfect gentleman. If his eyes are a bit too hot, a bit too bold, this is still a matter of interpretation. If the girl doesn't like it she only has to be rude and move off.

But why shouldn't the girl like it? Mike is flattering her."

[Fastseduction also moves into a discussion on this last point, of using her need to save face against her. How she cannot complain at any stage as Mike can always just raise an eyebrow and say "What? Well, you have tickets on yourself don't you? Don't flatter yourself".]

He also mentions a 24-step process (without going into the details) of all the minor closes of the American Adolescent courtship dance. For instance when a boy takes a girls hand, he must wait until she presses his hand until intertwining the fingers. It is suggested that a boy or a girls is labeled "fast" or "slow" in terms of the order of each step and time taken between steps. Reversing the order of the steps or skipping them indicates a fast mover. So that was a long post of material that is not mine. How I have used it and have integrated it into my game since I first got into it is open to discussion. Questions, and Comments, as always are welcome.

By Toecutter.

 

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